Archive for the 'Hiccups' Category

Sighwagon McGoo

I didn’t play a fun joke on the delightful bloggers at the Consumerist to boost our traffic. What would that do, sell ads that we don’t have? Nah. The C’ist has some pretty funny commenters, and some of the trolliest as well on the internets. I thought we’d have some hijinks, etc. after I did a little teasing, and of course some good spider money humor could come of it. The C’s were good enough to present the joke as it was made to their audience, but in doing so broke the link back to our fine site. So after 3700 something hits to a post about The Tragically Hip from when we were 0 years old, not a single new comment at our fine site, nor did anyone actually see a spider in a party hat. Since I feel a little sad about this, I will not put forth any ass for the rest of today.

You’ve Got A Hold on Me

Curry fried rice.

I can’t stop thinking about you.

Why did you make me flavor bomb the onions?

How could you possibly come up with the perfect ratio of soy sauce, fish sauce, a touch of sugar, black pepper, and curry powder?

What possessed me to color outside the lines and use an entire bunch of green onions, né scallions?

You’ve put a spell on me.

Unrelated WTF: GC has a coworker who goes nudist on weekends. And Anatomy of a Murder made me think of Brando, because it was shot on location in the UP. I didn’t realize the UP was B/W. Not really surprising I guess. The film is quite good, but perhaps prepare yourself for 2:40 and change.


one of the best pictures of our times.

Del Martin & Phyllis Lyon, 2-12-04

Congratulations (again)!

(South Africa, Netherlands, Canada, Spain, Belgium (not found), Norway & Sweden?)

For Kathleen

In re.


From John Barth, The Tidewater Tales, 1987, pp 37-8. (Ellipses indicate excised asides which make sense in the context of the novel but are not specifically relevant to the excerpt.)

Continue reading ‘For Kathleen’

Ask your doctor if Porksnorklix® is right for you!

Is your blogging more than usually irregular? Do you lie awake at night worrying about the assedness level on your blog? Does everything you type on your keyboard come out as “meh meh mehmeh meh mehmeh”?

People with these symptoms are often suffering from Listless Pinko Syndrome (LPS). Porksnorklix® has been clinically proven to alleviate the symptoms of LPS and allow patients to return to a regular course of half-assed blogging without excessive meh. Of course, only your doctor can properly diagnose LPS. However we suggest asking your doctor about Porksnorklix® even if you don’t have any of these symptoms — they love it when you do that.

Side effects of Porksnorklix® can include increased use of bad puns, an odor attractive to marmosets, Restless Leg Syndrome, binge tuba playing, sleep hang-gliding, devout Mormonism, compulsive macramé, adoration of Justin Timberlake, an uncontrollable urge to taunt Happy Fun Ball®, filibustering useful legislation, embarrassing quantum entanglements, and headaches. In rare cases, a user of Porksnorklix® may turn into a walrus, or a stoat, or a walrus that thinks it’s a stoat, or a stoat that thinks it’s a walrus, or the phylogenetically confused stoat-walrus (in this last case please contact the PhyConO Strategy Group for more information).

Note that symptoms of LPS can be confused with the symptoms of mehprosy. If you have that though, there really isn’t any hope and we think people ought to shun you.

Bah, humbug?

I have a video present for 3B readers, or perhaps an anti-present, or perhaps a weapon of Mass Holiday Destruction.

It is below the fold.

It is not work, friend, family, child, pet, phylogenetically confused organism, or Cthuloid fungus safe.

If you are not Canadian, you may want to give any Canadians you care about a chance to get to a safe distance away from you. Then again, you may not.

If you are Canadian, well…

If you are an AC/DC fan, RUN AWAY. I MEAN IT.

If you have an inkling of fondness for AC/DC, large amounts of lead shielding MIGHT save you.

This is your last chance to turn back. Won’t you think of the children?

Continue reading ‘Bah, humbug?’

The Only Thing Worse

than me having drunk cartoon hiccups is UC having hiccups. That is goddamned annoying. I do say this having been banished to the street couch for really annoying and jiggly hiccups. Anything else happen this weeknd? I mean, in non electronic fantasy world?