Archive for the 'Incivility' Category

The Yglesiasening

Published by Pinko Punko on March 12, 2012 in Battle Rap, Incivility and Yglesi-yesyoush*tcan. 17 Comments

Here is what the critics are saying about our new battle rap subject at Amazon:

Austin O. Jones “Consumer-in-Chief”, says:

Whilst Mr. Yglesias should be well-versed on the sordid history of glory-holes and their ilk, I find his grasp of the subject to be disappointing. Add to that his talentless, pedantic “writing”, and you end up with a fairly inexpensive doorstop.

I love thinking about this guy using the Kindle version of MattYmunch’s book as a doorstop. “MAH KINDLE!!!!!!!!!! DOH!”

Mark Frutig writes:

While Matt used many of the words found in more promising works, the order in which they were used was disappointing.

While this is simply wonderful, the meanest part is that Mr. Frutig has seen fit to only write two reviews for books he has not read, Yggie’s and Jerry Sandusky’s. Ouchies.

nikkolai writes:

I’m guessing this guy has no economic training, much less real-life experience, at all. Look elsewhere for this type of advice.

I almost feel like it is too mean to speculate that this is a Breitbarty bull in a broken clock factory, at this or the other right time of day.

DeeDee does not sound convincing- I do wonder if Breitybartos maybe concoct spammagamma in their time away from their spare time writing about MattY:

Same old tired Liberal tropes. I’ve followed this author on the Blogs, and there is not much new here. Just a chance to monetize his opinions, I guess. Buyer beware.

I don’t feel convinced, but I really want to be! Do you also love my newsletter?

Someone named Andrew Bretibart makes us feel sad for MY, and this is quite hard [I bet Brando just thought "that's what she said"]:

Awful, just awful.
The in depth description of anal probes on the space ship the author claims he went through..was too graphic.

T. Spaulding, in an extremely classy move, pushes us all the way into the Yglesias camp, for a mere moment before we destroy him with Battle Rap, with this statement, feeling the title of Matt’s book is too confusing:

Very disappointing. I thought it was titled “The Rent Boy Is Too Damn High: Tales From the Fire Island ER”.

Andrew Breitbart is Here.

I don’t get it! Where is Andrew LiteBriteBart? Is he in your homophobic cliché? Why not gild the lily? Perhaps the title was “Tales from the RNC closet inside the Judy Garland museum in KeyWestCastroSouthEndPTownChelsea”???

Courtesy of Mendacious D, willing this internet happenstance back to life, we relaunch our battle rap at MATTHEW YGLESIAS, may he have eventual solace from AB goons, but no solace from his own pet ard. Now with production values!

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

HEADER CONTEST TREAT

Published by Pinko Punko on June 16, 2011 in CONTEST!!, Incivility and Internet Fixing. 39 Comments

All headers to 3bulls at gmail, 950 pixels wide, 200 tall, as announced.

For you, we provide the internets with a sort of fixing, as they needed this:

We patiently await the ironic twitpic tweet from @mattyglesias. We say the words three times. Ma…no we got too scared.

Thunder can say them.

UPDATE: bow to fish

Sign Her Up

Published by Pinko Punko on March 16, 2011 in Incivility, IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BEAVIS DANCE, Musicano, Naive Melody and On Beyond Emus. 7 Comments

I heard an ad for this on the radio. I would like to sponsor a pledge drive for Prof. Ann Althouse to attend. The mix of likely 24 hour bar access, possible Norwalk virus and an emanated litany of grievances makes it an intriguing fantastia. Make it happen, friends. Make it happen.

Also, I heard Edgar Winter’s Frankenstein a few seconds later, and a connection between a hoary albino guitar legend and Edgar Winter was made.

Get On the Sanders’ Train

Published by Pinko Punko on December 10, 2010 in *BOOP*, Hijacked!, In the News, Incivility and Internet Fixing. 23 Comments

HATTIPFISHCLICKHERENOW

I’ve been listening on and off for about an hour and a half. I find it stirring. I look forward to claims of Quixoticism and grandstanding from the lowest of the low.

UPDATE- the sound of internet crickets always prevails while the schoolkids decided which way they think the event played. First, fish needs to sit down. Second:

12.10.10 — 10:57PM // RECOMMEND RECOMMEND (8)
Through a Filibuster Darkly

Our Brian Beutler explains why those fake non-talking filibusters we’ve seen for two years are the real thing and the genuine article Bernie Sanders filibuster today wasn’t the genuine article.

–Josh Marshall

And of course what does Brian Beutler say:

They could read from the phone book, or from the bible, or rant in paranoid fashion about how some day there would be a black president, and he would try to raise taxes on rich people. Whatever.

It looked a lot like what Bernie Sanders is doing today.

Certainly he doesn’t mean that an inspired oration laying out what progressive principles are and what true patriotism means in the face of mindless greed and blind self-interest is the same as those other things he’s claiming Sanders looked like. I think if you asked Brian he might even suggest it was noble theater. What he wouldn’t admit is that the soon to be predictable stream of tsk tsk get realing we’re about to hear emanating from his increasingly oily boss calls for NUTPUNCH. The only hope there could be is Jon Stewart getting behind this, because J. Marshall and D. Kurtz at least take him seriously.

Don’t try me, boys.

Unfortunately

Published by Pinko Punko on September 12, 2010 in Blog Nemeses, Cobagitation, Cobags, Incivility and _ _ Shenanigans. 17 Comments

I am going to have to Chunky Megan the Urban Dictionary.

Imagine if you will, I construct a persona based on emotionally stunted casual elitist clueless narcissism. I use this persona to submit regular writings on the internet. These writings are highly probably to enrage due to their tossed off and obtuse nature. Conveniently, I will allow you to comment on my being wrong or lacking in experience or understanding of what I discuss. These comments will have no bearing on whether I continue to say dipshit type things. In fact, I will increase the frequency of my emanations. It is something like that combined with this:

Chunky Megan
A sexual proclivity so disgusting, so degenerate, yet also so pedestrian and pathetically sad, that it requires a yet to be invented multidimensional sexual string theory to describe it in any detail. It is beyond actual description or comprehension. It is more easily understood using analogies.

The act of claiming to be a liberal blogger while actually being a privileged know-nothing elitist turd is to be a practitioner of the act of Chunky Megan on the internet.

Imagining them procreating is to begin to conceive of the act of a Chunky Megan.

Matthew Yglesias is such a Chunky Megan.

When I read Matthew Yglesias’ blog, I get the feeling I’m being subjected to a Chunky Megan.
by [redacted] on Sep 12, 2010

tags: neo-liberal cobagging, the sexual practice of a cobag, glibertarian, libertarian, wanker

Perhaps [redacted] wasn’t accurate enough for this essential truism to officially be entered into the greater lexicon. Sigh.

KNOCK KNOCK

Published by Pinko Punko on May 3, 2010 in Emu Alert, Extra Meta, Foodstuffs, Incivility, On Beyond Emus, Reader Feedback and T'obag. 21 Comments

Who’s there?

It is I, KING OF ALL YELP.

I reproduce, here for your pleasure:

Mrs. Fields donation of 3 cookies …
Category: Other

04
20 hours ago Linda L. says:

Thank you Mrs. Fields Cookies for your generous donation of 3 cookies for
our fundraising event for Retinal Research. Your generous donation will
surely make an impact on this foundation’s research.

I understand that our event didn’t “fit” your donation guidelines; but to send
a coupon for three cookies is insulting and insensitive.

61
19 hours ago Amanda “MAGOO” M. says:

Well, can I have the coupon then?

Elite ’10 209158
19 hours ago from Yelp for iPhone Mike S. says:

Dude. Wrong site. I can see how the red might confuse you….

Here here’s a ball to play with.

Elite ’10 284776
18 hours ago Jim “The Traveler” U. says:

You requested a free donation, they made one. You deem the donation not good enough for reasons unspecified and have chosen to inform all of the amateur restaurant reviewers in the greater New York city area about this. Why? And why do you feel Mrs. Fields should be obligated to give you anything? They sounded respectable enough from my standpoint.

Elite ’10 46219
18 hours ago Kate “the present king of france” T. says:

Review Mrs. Fields?

Elite ’10 133127
18 hours ago Scott “suburb dweller” P. says:

Congratulations Jim, youre an asswipe

People talk about almost anything in these threads, is there a requirement Im not aware of? Or maybe she would have preferred no donation rather than cookie coupons, which is an insult really.

Elite ’10 284776
17 hours ago Jim “The Traveler” U. says:

It is now an insult to receive something for free if it less than what you expected? I guess Peter D has been dogging me all this time by allowing me to attend elite events and not pouring Cristal down my throat.

@Scott P

Yes, people talk about anything in these threads. I am talking about why I fail to understand what the big deal is. Try to keep up my little man.

61
17 hours ago Amanda “MAGOO” M. says:

Congratulations Scott, your an asswipe.

Elite ’10 182209
15 hours ago Janeen “The Fem-Bot Edition” B. says:

Congratulations Amanda, you’re an asswipe.

Elite ’10 317461
15 hours ago Jaime “just plays one on yelp” M. says:

Congratulations everybody. You’ve earned 3 Mrs. Fields cookies.

9517
13 hours ago Marjan “sans souci” G. says:

Mrs. Fields is passe at best, the cookies are too greasy and
sweet and are about 800 calories each.
Think of it as lucky that they only gave three cookies.
Who needs them !

Elite ’10 46219
5 hours ago Kate “the present king of france” T. says:

800 calories? Rockin’. I could eat 2.5 each day and be set.

Super secret hat tip to e-mail helper!

I blame fish

Published by Ombudswagon on April 12, 2010 in Aside, BLAME™, Blog Nemeses, Cobagitation, Emu Alert, fish vs shorebird, Incivility, Internet Fixing, On Beyond Emus, Reader Feedback and Rush. 64 Comments

There have been multiple complaints regarding this blog and the propensity for extensive arguments. The Ombuds collective acknowledges that arguments must be avoided at all costs as they have a tendency to make David Broder uncomfortable. It has also been noted that these arguments are taking place without the proper safety training as required by Article E, Section M, Subheading U. So before we continue, it is required that you all view this argument training video:

Fish stole the video. Let us proceed then. A rigorous statistical analysis of the argument phenomenon that is occurring in the greater 3Bulls(!) blogosphere revealed only one  common causative modality with a P Value reaching significance (p=0.0): fish. Yes, it appears fish is a major root cause of argumentation. I am afraid that an intervention is required.

There is a problem however. How does one actually intervene with a chronic arguer? The first step is to recognize the signs of the arguing addict to be sure the diagnosis is correct:

1) Does the individual head into the bathroom carrying a copy of Debaters Weekly and mumbling something about becoming a “Master”?

2) Do you have to put parental controls on the TV to block The McLaughlin Group?

3) Must you never say the words “designated hitter” out loud in his or her presence?

4) Have you heard enough about salt already?

Given criteria such as those above, it is clear to the Ombuds that fish has a serious problem and runs the risk of making David Broder cry if he does not get the help that he needs.

This Ombud has a few recommended actions:

1) pick up apparatus; use apparatus, play video of Kennedy/Nixon debate while playing Rush at full volume.

2) mark fish’s IP as spam and then initiate an argument between Mandos and Plover on the post-modern theory as applied to the inherent sexism of Linux use in the movie Avatar.

3) Read Matt Yglesias’ justification for the Iraq War out loud and apply strong electroshock every time he audibly snorts.

4) Cancel his subscriptions to Z Magazine and the Utne Reader. Force him to subscribe to and read TNR, Slate, and The Nation. Refuse to discuss or consider any points of view other than David Corn’s.

5) Any time he brings up Chomsky, say that “Jonah Goldberg really has a more interesting take on this topic”.

6) Agree with everything he says. (this may be an unworkable solution)

I am sure with aggressive treatment, we can get fish to allow someone else to speak once in a while. If he continues on his current path, he is in danger of using up all the letters on the internets. Let’s get him re-socialized and ready to become a productive member of society again. Won’t you help fish instead of cursing him?

(64)

A Tarantino Film Begging to be Made

Published by Pinko Punko on March 28, 2010 in *BOOP*, Cobag in Chief, Cobags, In the News and Incivility. 19 Comments

An Inglourious Basterds style revenge flick where our protagonists set their deserving sights on Pedophile, Inc. Yes, Andrew Sullivan, the Roman Catholic Church. A church that “should know better.” Cinematic violence and gore filling the gaping maws of our disgust and thirst for justice. Cue Bill Donohue’s head for the explosion line. What a horrible thought. How could anyone?

Film it, chundernoggins.


Sinéad O’Connor – WAR – SNL – For more of the funniest videos, click here

Update: A ray of sanity on Hiatt’s Op-Ed page. O’Connor covers the latest.

An Exciting New Feature of Three Bulls!

Published by Gregor Samsa on January 5, 2010 in Canadian Curling Association Cobaggery, Cobagitation, Emu Alert, Extra Meta, Flights of Fancy, GRAPEFRUIT CHUPACABRA!!!!!!, Hijacked!, Incivility, Ombudsman Heritage Week, Ombudspersonpantsmoose, Pork Snorkel, Reader Feedback, Shenanometer Pegged Needle, Snacktators, Take 5 and The Pleasures of Moosology. 35 Comments

ombuddy seal of approval

Introducing the Ombud… Seal of Approval (OSA)!

Do you, gentle and not so gentle readers, often find yourself approaching new Three Bulls! posts with trepidation verging on fear?

Do you find yourself wondering:

Will there be an Ombud… available if I have any questions, concerns or complaints about this post?

Have the photographs in this post been analyzed by trained professionals for hidden meanings, nuance and most importantly matters related to the state of the union?

Will anything be harmed in anyway by the content of or omissions from this post?

Are the authors of this post sufficiently non partisan?

Does this post contain verified facts and/or science related to politics, life or other contentious issues without presenting the reader with opposing wackadoodle beliefs for balance?

Can the terms “teabag” and “teabagging,” as used in this post, be interpreted in an inappropriate manner?

Does this post contain opinion?

Have the authors considered every side of every coin?

Is this post civil or will it lead to incivility?

Will this post hurt my feelings or the feelings of others?

What’s the number of the complaint line and what happens if it is busy?

Were John McCain and Joe Lieberman briefed on the content of this post?

Will I get hungry part way through this post?

Will I get it?

Continue reading ‘An Exciting New Feature of Three Bulls!’

Re-Rebuttal Butt Butte (half)

Published by Ombudsglooob on June 7, 2009 in Canadian Curling Association Cobaggery, Didn't we smite this yesterday?, Do we have a Phil Collins category yet?, Do we have a Tucker Carlson category yet?, GRAPEFRUIT CHUPACABRA!!!!!! and Incivility. 12 Comments

Based on recent events, I believe a formal response would be salutary.  Helpful, even.

After the recent kerfuffle over an introductory Ombudsglooob post that was deemed non-ombudshelpfullike, the OARB came down on me like a ton of soggy chicken feathers.  Also, the CCA sent several large stones hurtling through my front door.  I believe I even pissed off the AFL-CIO and NAMBLA.

Item the First: I have discovered that I was in grievous error in describing Certain Various Citrus Monsters as Imaginary.  Indeed, I was visited not only by the Grapefruit Chupacabra three nights ago, but the following night by Tucker the Orange and last night tag teamed by a Frankenlemon and what can only be described as a Key Lime Zombie.  we had long discussions; while edifying, it must be said that Citrus Monsters are not sparkling conversationalists.

Seriously, it was like A Christmas Carol as written by Anita Bryant.  A Citrus Carol.  I fully expect to be visited tonight by an overgrown Mutant Kumquat to infect me with Citrus Canker, unless I bribe a street urchin to go buy me the biggest Pork Snorkel in the shop window.

So, in short, it must be conceded that Citrus Monsters do, in fact, exist, and are willing to disrupt your sleep patterns with long, Ben Stein like monologues if necessary.

Item the Second: The COBA has decried the lack of professionaism, helpfulness, and generally undignified state of 3Bulls.  Now, in my defense, I must state that my OmbudsContract did not include the words “Dignity”  “Professional”  or “Helpful”; indeed, it only contained one “whereas”  and three “ats”.  However, there was mention of “shenanigans”, “cobagitation”, “half-assedness” and several times, “Zardoz”.  Also, a whole section was entitled “When All Hell Breaks Loose”.  And even though I felt there was not enough mention of “Salary”, “Vacation”, “Cuba Libre Lunches” or “Legal Defence”, the agreement was generally satisfactory on both sides.

It must needs be pointed out, however, that failure of execution is not only part of the day to day operation of this dark-blue bloggo, but that it is in fact, a time honored Tradition.  I submit as evidence this Words of Wisdom, seen recently in the sidebar:

3bullsloozers1

I maintain that as Ombudsglooob, I was merely conforming to the 3Bulls Mission Statement.

Item the Thrid:  In the spirit of Ombuddsing, a visitor plaintively asked “Where’s My Pudding?”.  The dessertly nature of this request makes our tempombudsheart fairly burst.  Following on a clue left in a subsequent comment, we discovered that fish’s pudding, was, in fact, taken by Blue Girl.  Furthermore, she ATE IT INCORRECTLY!!  This is, of course, the prerogative of a Cookie Queen, if no less heinous for that.  Without the support of my new Citrus Monster friends, though, I am not equipped to confront this person.  Fortunately she spends all her time these days on Facebook and honking at old people. Maybe the CCA can send a Sternly Worded Letter.  Maybe Minnesota Law Firm can send a Støørnly Worded Letter.   I am going to stay the hell out of it from now on.

Item the Fourth: Phil Collins may be a talented drummer, but he is no longer Cute.  Also, he has been married AS MANY TIMES AS NEWT GINGRICH!!  Something Coming In The Air Tonight, Indeed.  Think about it, won’t you?

Fear not, friendly 3Bulls visitor and/or Reader!  An epochal Ombudspost is in the works!  It will answer half your questions.  Or maybe None.  But full-assedness is RIGHT OUT!!

[EDIT]  I believe I am offended at the Ombudsnick I was assigned.  doesn’t matter which definition you go with.