Archive for the 'Jason Garfield-Juggling Alliance' Category

Full Assed Broadside on Jason Garfield

I wish it were from us. It is not. We’ve certainly honored the gigantic choad Jason G. of Juggling previously. I think I probably turned against him because he looks like Jeff Gannon. Anyhow, the Uncyclopedia takes a shot. Do they know who they’re dealing with?

Also, more people need to work on our community e-novel, Chapter One starts here. P-lo files a slice downthread, as does fishwagon.

I Love It When You Call Me

Big Papel?


Big Papi?


Beard Papa?


Big Poo-Poo?


Ring-tailed Pemur?


It’s one of the above, and we don’t know yet. I’m outty.

We’d Really Feel More Comfortable with an Alliance Juggler

It has come to our intention that Seitz does not think Three Bulls! is obscure enough. He finds our humor too broad.

Three Bulls! personally would not have the fortification or the inner strength to take on the forces of benji AND Gizz Ball, but our new hero, Jason Garfield OF THE BLISS DISS takes it right to the man in Europe “The Final Countdown” style. We find the years 1990 and 1998 most informative in the fight against benji and Gizz ball.

Thank you Robola, in comments. Everyone please get over to STiTP and fill up all their posts with comments to show them the 3B! love.

UPDATE!! Patrick Squires RESPONDS!

: At the end of the letter the editor indicates that Benji Hill had no comment : on the matter.

I suggest that:
1) ALL people mentioned in letters should be contacted as a matter of policy.

The family of Mike Price contacted me and they have informed me that the statement from the article, “Benji even sent a tape of Jason Garfield’s performance to Chuck Gunter and Mike Price for them to memorize one of Jason’s routines for their performances of which he receives a commission. (These statements are verified as truth and endorsed for use in this letter by Jason Garfield.)” is UNTRUE!

Mike has never received a video from Benji. Mike has never memorized anybody’s material. Benji gets Mike jobs. He has never has anything to do with his shows.

I received this information from Mike’s grandfather Jim Blake. He is likely to send similar information to JUGGLE to help clear Mike’s name. Which brings me to my next point:

2) Professionalism would be a great topic for an article in JUGGLE, not the feedback section. It only creates slow (bimonthly) form of the discussion that we are having here.

Patrick Squires
(Former juggling coach of Mike Price.)

Note: I have no information as to the validity of the rest of the letter, only the above quote.

UPDATE!! OH F***, THE YO-YO COBAGS are INVOLVED. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END???????????????? Steve Brown chimes in

Re: Should the IJA impose a code of ethics upon membership?
Posted by
Steve Brown
on 3/06/04 at 00:34 GMT
Followups | Post a followup | FAQ

The very idea of this makes my ulcers burn.

It is no one’s responsibility to monitor the ethics of anyone but themselves. This includes parental watchdog groups, censorship advocates, anyone whose last name is “Bush”, judges, and anyone else who suddenly deems themselves so far above humanity that they can judge who is ethical and who is not.

For the IJA, a small, fledgling organization that is plagued with low membership, a lack of benefits, conflicting opinions about direction, and a Board of Directors…for the IJA to believe themselves in a postion to declare a code of ethics and actually think they have the force to monitor the juggling community and enforce an ethical code is simply ludicrous.

How about the IJA instead introduces a code of work ethics, and makes an effort to stick to that? I think that’s far FAR more in line with what the organization needs.

Let me state this is not an indictment of the people running the show, but an indictment of the actual organization. And yes, there is a difference. The IJA is far too small to merit a Board of Directors. What the IJA needs is a paid Director who makes the decisions and who can be voted out by the membership if his or her decisions do not fulfill his or her obligation to the organization. That, and an army of volunteers who really don’t have a say in what’s going on, other than the ability to offer suggestions, advice, or professional counsel.

This is a big bone to pick with me, as i’m dealing with the same nonsense from the American Yo-Yo Association, an organization which ripped it’s bylaws from the IJAs, and which is also not nearly large enough to need the amount of infra-structure that it’s currently collapsing under.

As someone who has had his morals and ethics challenged on no more basis than his appearance since the age of 12, I get pretty up-in-arms about people who deign themselves enlightened enough to police the ethics, ideals, and morals of others.

Rant off.


I know nothing about juggling, but damn do I like the Beatles

Now with UPDATE!! Scroll to bottom

Apparently, everyone else in the world has seen this video except perhaps Pinko Punko, which is why I think it is critical to blog about it. In this video Chris Bliss, a juggler/comedian does a very impressive 3-ball juggling routine choreographed to the last few minutes of Abbey Road, one of the great musical farewells in known history. If you haven’t seen it before, take the 4:27 and give it a watch. I was thorougly impressed. Like mouth-wide-open impressed

So I’m reading more about the video and the guy, and I realize that I’ve been taken. Seriously taken. Like being pantsed in the middle of Time Square by a transvestite with a sign informing you that the world is ending. Yes, I am a juggling neophyte. No, worse. I am a juggling philistine. Because this other guy, Jason Garfield, decided to write a massively viscious critiquie of the Chris Bliss routine that thorougly castrates and degrades anyone that liked his video. You can read it here.

In this particular routine, which is not perfect, but probably took two days of practice, Garfield does the same schtick, to the same music (with clapping and all!!!), with five balls. Count ’em. FIVE BALLS. That’s better than doing Abbey Road with three bulls. And I’m betting that there’s like a million jugglers out there better than Jason Garfield that make us plebians look even worse. Here’s the Garfield video, affectionately titled the The Chris Bliss Diss Video

So this Garfield dude. You need to read part of his site. He makes the Magician’s Alliance from Arrested Development look like well, less of a satire and mroe of a HACK on the JUGGLING COMMUNITY! Who knew there were juggling badasses????? Props to you, juggling badass -Pinko Punko