Archive for the 'Koufax' Category

Koufax Awards

It is almost Koufax time again. I just wanted to talk about what makes me happy about 3B. Certainly not the 0.5 assunit content (save plover’s 0.97 assunit content and UC’s Hammer of Thor smackdown Musican Poop Shooters). What makes me most happy is the creative and funny audience that does the occasional drive-by. Certainly we don’t make a lot of sense, some would say Dada, others would say…The point being the post that made me the most happy in the last year was Snack Cake Dictators or “Snacktators.” It wasn’t really a post of consequence whatsoever, but the comments were amazing. And what made me really proud was that Blue Girl said she was going to nominate the post for a Koufax Award. What I want to say is that if we should happen to win, 3B isn’t the winner, you are. It’s an honor to even just be fake nominated.

Go Forth And Multiply!!!!!!!!!

The votes for teh l4m3.

He has made the Koufax semi’s for commenting at S,N! and, and…. Eschaton?  I really wish Atrios would get off our tip.  I am sick of him JOCKING us.  He’s gotta fly solo, not ride the Bulls coattails.  Although could someone send the SPCA to save his cats?  I’m not sure that the posting algorithm that has replaced him is remembering to feed them.  And no matter how much “Jane Speak, You Listen” or any amount of Digby nailing it can really open up the cans of Fancy Feast those pussies are craving.

We’re Going to Have an Intervention

with Norbiz.  It is our assertion that Norbiz winning a Koufax will cause him to lose his edge, while if he lost, he would only become embittered and more hilarious.  Therefore we would advocate you vote against him.  Even for SeanS.  You could vote for us, but how discerning does that make you?  Remember teh l4m3 and THYCWOTI in bester commenter.


Well we have a conundrum.  Our reigning Supreme Golden Onion Wiener Winner (SuGOWW) (teh l4m3) vs. Mr. Coasting on Windows 95 and Reputation and our very own  THYCWOTI vs. Floyd Alvis Cooper vs. Mr. Hit and Run Finely Crafted Effortless Commenting Algorithm 64 Code Name: “Norbizness” vs. D. Sidhe, stealth powerhousefor best Commenter Koufax styley.

We’ll be watching the great commenting here at Three B! rolling in as our favor is curried for the voting.  I can’t wait for sophisticated trollery from F.A.C.  Sophisticated singleton commenting drollery from Norbiz.  D. Sidhe dropping in or hanging out at Clif’s keeping him company.  Classic THYCWOTI action from THYCWOTI.  And a landslide of comments from Herve Villechaize, Divine, Mariah Scary and Dr. Theopolis.

Everybody onto the oil platform now!

Our pants are down. Somebody say something funny. Besides about that, teh l4m3!

Load up the Rolo guns, we got some web log wars to start with our nemeses. We must prepare ourselves to be kneecapped by s.z., sphincterly violated by Rudy Pundo, have our panties run up the flagpole by Sadly, No!, have our faces shoved in lettuce by Bobby Lightfoot  (TAG-TEAMING with Big Oatmeal etc. etc.). Obviously when we are found with spatula marks on our cherubic bottoms, you’ll know who to call. Also, be ready for Twisty to cook you up a nice meal, and then realize she has fed you your own wiener/wienerette, she’s crazy good that way (that’s a patriarchy joke people! Get with the blaming!).

If we are found face down in a scrounged couch covered with rolling papers you’ll know we got the ‘Bizness. Olive pick to the jugular? Wolcott. Death by Gibletsian femtobular pain spheres and/or poisoned yet delicious ninja pie? Fafblog. Frozen out by a combination or razor sharp talent, possibly fuelled by Tacos El Grullense tacos, and icy cold kitteny aloofness?  The Editors.  Combination Swedish Fish suppositories/Hello Kitty stationery knife-slashing? Harriet Miers.

We might as well go down fighting as we are about to be declared clinically unfunny, and you know who else resides in that bin: IMAO. Six Meat Buffet. You know, gun-cakers.

Oh, we plan on reading our lesser know competitors, just to determine how far down the list of funny we actually are. Of the ones we read, we’re 12th out of 15. NICE! YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW WHO IS MORE CONSISTENTLY PHONING IT IN than we are, wouldn’t you. We’d never tell.

It’s really about the commenters here anyway. It’s hard to explain. These kids are good.


The man of the hour is Gregor Samsa.  One of you chilluns got him and us nominated for “most humorous post“!  For anyone coming through here, not that they will, we say hello!  Also, checkout Monday Goldberg Theatre at our old place, we are currently fixing image links over here from the move. For personal reasons, and more the comment thread we have a soft-spot for Gun Cake, but also the adventures of Kitty Kattwood, introduced here.

Sandies (mmmm…)

Pecan sandies! Oops! I meant the Koufax awards!

Look, we know that 3B! is the greatest blog on earth that has the number 3, the word bulls, and the word blogspot in the url, but not everyone is aware. We would like you, our loyal 4 readers (and Chuckles), to take some time to go here and nominate 3Bulls for the only categories that we would really belong in:

A) Best Expert Blog – for our work on shooting lasers at crystals in the Puget Sound while taking a break from diagramming the cellular structure on differential equations; and Ric Flair.

2)Best Series that doesn’t run any more even though it was funny as bubbles because Pinko got too busy and tired to do it anymore (and the rats ate MJ.) (I didn’t even see any other ones nominated for this category.)

C)Most Deserving Lesser Recognition.

IV)Best Commenter – your choice, Der Commissar or Seth.

Remember, it’s your civic duty. I’ve got purple fingers, do you?

UPDATE: Plenty of people parading purple pfingers (damn, that last alliterative didn’t work did it?)

Best Expert Blog: 3Bulls! at

Posted by: Chuckles | December 21, 2005 10:59 PM

Best single issue blog: 3Bulls!

Posted by: shingles | December 21, 2005 11:55 PM

Uh, Can You Cobags Get Over to Wampum

and nominate Teh (actual quality) or Yosef/THYCWOTI (more coasting on rep) for best commenter in the Koufax awards. For Teh, use this post as evidence. Go here to nominate.