Archive for the 'Pinko of Pork Records' Category

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Back to the B-side

Since we are wallowing in the skittlest of choco radio, which I unabashedly love- (what else can we all do around the water cooler) (apologies to our international crowd, I understand that this is deeply hurtful.)

I now propose we attempt to mine the actual eclectisism of the 3B community. Please pick 10 songs that you think represent the diversity of your likes (not your dislikes) and we shall see the true shape of our musical souls. Keeping in mind the result may be exactly the same, given that it seems unfair for the ZRM-Brando axis to not include Rush on their list.

Awfulness is Here

Here is what I propose, as you enjoy the musical soul of the 3B community, or its black emptiness, consider listening to at least 10 songs. Document these songs and we will award +1 point to someone if you skip a song that you blame them for, and +1 point to a person if you like a song that you credit them for its inclusion.

This should be the station linky!

I love everyone, and will preemptively eviscerate our taste in music as an irony shield for inevitable P-fork payback.


I will not officially like or skip in my version of the station, so as not to bias future arbitrary pain. I will merely note in my dear diary that I am already +1 for “Where is My Mind”-Pixies- clearly this is a credit to me (first song!).

I recommend that you do not stack the deck either!

I got lucky they are in an alternative block. I wonder when they will flip to lighter fluid?

1. Where is My Mind – Pixies (5) )(+1 for me)
2. Handlebars-Flobot sounds like white rap CAPT. TROLLYPANTS? maybe about as good but kind of funny (2) (+1 for MenD)
3. 1234 Feist kind of an overplayed skip but good (7)
4. Take Me Out-Franz Ferdinand (1)
5. Wild Life-Inxs (Kick) (1 maybe 2)
6.Occasional Demons-Jethro Tull -1 point for UC or ZRM
7. Midnight Rendevous-The Babys (these guys sound like a cross between Foreigner and maybe Rick Springfield) OMG I am dying this is a hilarious lost 80s movie montage track and I will treasure it as a category (2) Has anyone heard of this song? Does anyone OWN this song? Admit your shame. “Mid-night…Mid-night rendevouz..*hand claps*…yeah yeah” Wait- I think this is John Waite- so maybe that explains why the lead singer sounds familiar.

video here- embedding DISABLED by request of the EARTH

We need the header version of this song.

8. You Wear it Well (Early Version)-Rod Stewart- possibly a good song. I am on the fence here. I feel like it is one of those underrated overrated songs. I feel like this is a +1 to the spirit of BG, but she can eat it, so +1 to J.

9. Heartbreaker-Led Zeppelin I wonder if Pandora will respect the Living Loving Maid play through. I don’t like the solo until right up at the end.

10. Hush-Deep Purple -1 to ZRM!

I think they went to lighter fluid at number 6.

That Feeling

I don’t like it when GC fast-forwards through this commercial:

I think Goob really likes the song too. She clears shelfs happily to its sunny tune.

Full song:


Saw a Dodge Challenger with the General Lee paint job on the street today. An original, yet they also had the Boss Hogg steer horns on the front. Isn’t that a mixed redneck metaphor?


I meant to add that I heard a song I had never heard before on the robot radio station.

Robot radio has played some goodies this week, such as:

I say this is as equally good pop and lock song as Herbie Hancock’s “Rock It”. Anyhoo, they also dropped a back to back of FGTH “Relax” and the Stones’ “19th Nervous Breakdown.”

But this, I don’t know what to call it but BG music, except I think it is probably more Jennifer music. In my dotage, on a station for the masses, I very rarely hear a song that has not been vaguely catalogued in the ol’ brainzoes to some extent. I mean, in Big Texas Cloverhill Honeybun, I have learned of many many new Sammy Hagar THE RED ROCKER tunes on what is now considered classic rock, but it has always been a very familiar flavor. This one, was like What. The.

I think this was fanning the flames at Comiskey the night of the rally. I think it is awesome. This dude is clearly of a different quality.

The Polyphonic Squee

A communiqué has been received, to the effect that our dear, dear friends at Pitchfork have noticed via Twitter our annual dismemberment of their end-of-year listings. They are, as you can imagine, less than thrilled.

So un-thrilled, in fact, that the Ombudsmoose has been roused from hibernation to address the matter.

Pinko has suggested that he might, surprisingly, maintain a certain modicum of civility during what promises to be a constructive exchange, but we are bound by no such scruples. It is, we hope, somewhere in the job description.

The crux is this: we have, more or less continuously, critiqued many writers, columnists, and bloggers for blanching at the idea that some of their readers might have tastes and opinions which differ from their own. It has become a holiday tradition in many corners to gripe about this at the outset of Pitchfork’s top 100 lists of all time (OF ALL TIME) or merely of each passing year.

Who are we to be unaware of all internet traditions?

Owing to the apparent urgency of the matter, we have no more to say at this time, and no loops to give you for the production of battle raps. This is where you come in. Need I say more?

Meanwhile, we look forward to the annual vivisection of the Pitchfork Top 100, and rest assured we will not be fazed, swayed, or otherwise discouraged by this development. Rather, I suspect, the opposite.

We also note, somewhat relatedly, that they are conducting their end-of-year survey, a potential source of much shenanigans.

In the meantime, Pitchfork will continue to EAT IT.

OTHER BUSINESS: This, from our esteemed colleague plover, deserves some kind of major award for service above and beyond the call of blogging. Truly, a classic for the ages.

Also, the excellent Ombudsentity Heritage Week from our many-headed co-blogger, which we hope has shed light on the strange ecosystems our ilk must inhabit.

All questions, suggestions, and beauteous battle-raps (or filks of any nature) may be entered below.

Fuel for the fire

Or, “Audients Participation.”

The oft-mocked Pitchfork, not content with the annual material PP and UC already have to work with, bestow upon us their top 200 albums of the decade.

It should be noted that the musical stylings of one Capt. CT Trollypants are mysteriously absent. We expect howls of outrage forthwith.

We are certainly not expecting our esteemed management to actually review the massive list of lists, but our darling commenters may be willing to lend a hand.

In other news, there is no news, except for these shoes. A must-have accessory for red track pants on the go.

Fixing the Internets

Brando hath tasted that which he hath wrought, and it be a bitter pill.

OOOH! (Out Of Our Heads)

After hearing the heartbreaking complaint from a fellow Ombud (the Left Honorable Ombudswagon) to wit:

If Pandora tries to make me listen to Coldplay one more time, I am going to punch Pandora in the face.

We were forced to realize that our resignation from this site was in haste, if not error.  If anybody needs multiple ombuds, it is 3Bulls; not to mention the Serving Ombudspersons/pants/citrus/team/group.

So we spent the better part of our Sunday, watching the Mythbusters marathon and casting about for a solution.  A long, in-depth consultation/barbecue/drinking session with a Certain Martian and a less certain Zombie, eventually determined a knife-like solution to this Gordian Knot of a problem:

Dearest Fellow:  Set your Pandora Channel to the Mekons.  It is virtually guaranteed to avoid Coldplay, or indeed coldplay-like artists.

Thus we have decided to resume our Ombudsly duties on this oh-so-needy weblog, and patiently await your beefs, issues, gripes and general dissatisfaction.

Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch Update

Still working on this year’s Pitchfork Top 100 songs list, we won’t be done until UC gets back from riding the giant tortoises anyway. What I was struck by while engaging the list was the fact that the increasing frequency and amplitude of waves of recycling and its ever more cynical and surfacey deployment clearly dominates the music scene. Now, I don’t expect this insight to be special, but spending much less time than I guess our readers here would imagine I do interacting with the music press and scene, I was momentarily shocked by the depth of the problem. In comparing this year’s list to just my memories of the last two years, I find we must be beginning the death spiral. In a way, it is the usual style/substance debate, but in this case, the “styles” are born from ever more impeccable and increased recycling. I certainly don’t have a problem with bands being derivative. The extent isn’t so much the issue as how much of a straight-jacket the style is, or how well the content fits the style and whether there is any content there at all. We are now entering the 100 Years of Solitude phase of musical existence (new is the new old).

I enjoy many styles and many retro-retoolings of those styles, but it is always important that the songs be present. not just the sounds. I wanted to share an interesting discussion at MBV. Also, how can we give Marc Hogan any props if his blog is invite only? We only half-truthfully/half-ironically picked on him before, but now he’s not even in the top 100 worst/most wanky P-fork writers. In fact, we’ve been catching him saying smart and interesting things. We called the police to report a musical wanker and they said the musical wanker was inside the house! And it was us, so we pay our respect to MH.

The key comment is here:

Marc: I’m in agreement with Scott 100% about the influences/reference points thing– whose style you borrow to express your content (and how many people actually listened to those bands in the first place) seems to be more important in the blogosphere than what that content is. And you can argue that in some cases the style is inseparable from the content, like the “medium is the message,” but in those cases, I feel like the style had better be distinctive (I’m sorry, no one sounds exactly like Deerhunter; for a band I like on a much less intense/personal level, no one sounded exactly like the Strokes, either, despite their tasteful reference points).

Organic versus synthesized. These themes come up throughout my take on the P-fork Top 100 list. On top of our usual grades of “meh” “ass” or “good” you’ll definitely see the theme developing in real time as I get more and more annoyed at the more and more plastic offerings I force myself to listen to.


More stuff on some related issues- The Dean (Robert Christgau), whom I think I have an eternal fatwa against because he crapped on the Shins first CD, or maybe liked someone terrible, but I love how he’s been linked to the entirety of Wikipedia. Hey it’s tough, this is why I like no one, no one likes me and we live in a world fraught with arms races based on music criticism based grudges, and also, Yelp exists. RC links this piece with two anonymous wanks talking about the life of the online critic. What I am always astounded by is critics that think they love music more than some random shmo because they choose to dedicate more of their lives to it. I wonder if they notice that in our electronic age, there exists an unbelievable amount of content and that regular ol’ dudes kind of have to fight to spend time with a few new albums rather than 15-20 a week. They don’t review for other people because those people don’t even exist to them, they review for themselves, hence the scientifically accurate term of wanker. To wit:

StumpyPete1975: my top ten of the year rarely includes anything I see anywhere else!
Windupbird: me too
StumpyPete1975: and I’m amazed that EVERYBODY seems to agree and says things like “it was a bad year for music”
StumpyPete1975: what a ludicrous statement
StumpyPete1975: so many records released
StumpyPete1975: I’m sure it wasn’t all crappy!
Windupbird: I think some people’s job is to capture the consensus. I pity those people. The consensus is usually awful.


US/Russia border held together by duck tape