Archive for the 'Reader Feedback' Category

KNOCK KNOCK

Who’s there?

It is I, KING OF ALL YELP.

I reproduce, here for your pleasure:

Mrs. Fields donation of 3 cookies …
Category: Other

04
20 hours ago Linda L. says:

Thank you Mrs. Fields Cookies for your generous donation of 3 cookies for
our fundraising event for Retinal Research. Your generous donation will
surely make an impact on this foundation’s research.

I understand that our event didn’t “fit” your donation guidelines; but to send
a coupon for three cookies is insulting and insensitive.

61
19 hours ago Amanda “MAGOO” M. says:

Well, can I have the coupon then?

Elite ’10 209158
19 hours ago from Yelp for iPhone Mike S. says:

Dude. Wrong site. I can see how the red might confuse you….

Here here’s a ball to play with.

Elite ’10 284776
18 hours ago Jim “The Traveler” U. says:

You requested a free donation, they made one. You deem the donation not good enough for reasons unspecified and have chosen to inform all of the amateur restaurant reviewers in the greater New York city area about this. Why? And why do you feel Mrs. Fields should be obligated to give you anything? They sounded respectable enough from my standpoint.

Elite ’10 46219
18 hours ago Kate “the present king of france” T. says:

Review Mrs. Fields?

Elite ’10 133127
18 hours ago Scott “suburb dweller” P. says:

Congratulations Jim, youre an asswipe

People talk about almost anything in these threads, is there a requirement Im not aware of? Or maybe she would have preferred no donation rather than cookie coupons, which is an insult really.

Elite ’10 284776
17 hours ago Jim “The Traveler” U. says:

It is now an insult to receive something for free if it less than what you expected? I guess Peter D has been dogging me all this time by allowing me to attend elite events and not pouring Cristal down my throat.

@Scott P

Yes, people talk about anything in these threads. I am talking about why I fail to understand what the big deal is. Try to keep up my little man.

61
17 hours ago Amanda “MAGOO” M. says:

Congratulations Scott, your an asswipe.

Elite ’10 182209
15 hours ago Janeen “The Fem-Bot Edition” B. says:

Congratulations Amanda, you’re an asswipe.

Elite ’10 317461
15 hours ago Jaime “just plays one on yelp” M. says:

Congratulations everybody. You’ve earned 3 Mrs. Fields cookies.

9517
13 hours ago Marjan “sans souci” G. says:

Mrs. Fields is passe at best, the cookies are too greasy and
sweet and are about 800 calories each.
Think of it as lucky that they only gave three cookies.
Who needs them !

Elite ’10 46219
5 hours ago Kate “the present king of france” T. says:

800 calories? Rockin’. I could eat 2.5 each day and be set.

Super secret hat tip to e-mail helper!

I blame fish

There have been multiple complaints regarding this blog and the propensity for extensive arguments. The Ombuds collective acknowledges that arguments must be avoided at all costs as they have a tendency to make David Broder uncomfortable. It has also been noted that these arguments are taking place without the proper safety training as required by Article E, Section M, Subheading U. So before we continue, it is required that you all view this argument training video:

Fish stole the video. Let us proceed then. A rigorous statistical analysis of the argument phenomenon that is occurring in the greater 3Bulls(!) blogosphere revealed only one  common causative modality with a P Value reaching significance (p=0.0): fish. Yes, it appears fish is a major root cause of argumentation. I am afraid that an intervention is required.

There is a problem however. How does one actually intervene with a chronic arguer? The first step is to recognize the signs of the arguing addict to be sure the diagnosis is correct:

1) Does the individual head into the bathroom carrying a copy of Debaters Weekly and mumbling something about becoming a “Master”?

2) Do you have to put parental controls on the TV to block The McLaughlin Group?

3) Must you never say the words “designated hitter” out loud in his or her presence?

4) Have you heard enough about salt already?

Given criteria such as those above, it is clear to the Ombuds that fish has a serious problem and runs the risk of making David Broder cry if he does not get the help that he needs.

This Ombud has a few recommended actions:

1) pick up apparatus; use apparatus, play video of Kennedy/Nixon debate while playing Rush at full volume.

2) mark fish’s IP as spam and then initiate an argument between Mandos and Plover on the post-modern theory as applied to the inherent sexism of Linux use in the movie Avatar.

3) Read Matt Yglesias’ justification for the Iraq War out loud and apply strong electroshock every time he audibly snorts.

4) Cancel his subscriptions to Z Magazine and the Utne Reader. Force him to subscribe to and read TNR, Slate, and The Nation. Refuse to discuss or consider any points of view other than David Corn’s.

5) Any time he brings up Chomsky, say that “Jonah Goldberg really has a more interesting take on this topic”.

6) Agree with everything he says. (this may be an unworkable solution)

I am sure with aggressive treatment, we can get fish to allow someone else to speak once in a while. If he continues on his current path, he is in danger of using up all the letters on the internets. Let’s get him re-socialized and ready to become a productive member of society again. Won’t you help fish instead of cursing him?

(64)

An Exciting New Feature of Three Bulls!

ombuddy seal of approval

Introducing the Ombud… Seal of Approval (OSA)!

Do you, gentle and not so gentle readers, often find yourself approaching new Three Bulls! posts with trepidation verging on fear?

Do you find yourself wondering:

Will there be an Ombud… available if I have any questions, concerns or complaints about this post?

Have the photographs in this post been analyzed by trained professionals for hidden meanings, nuance and most importantly matters related to the state of the union?

Will anything be harmed in anyway by the content of or omissions from this post?

Are the authors of this post sufficiently non partisan?

Does this post contain verified facts and/or science related to politics, life or other contentious issues without presenting the reader with opposing wackadoodle beliefs for balance?

Can the terms “teabag” and “teabagging,” as used in this post, be interpreted in an inappropriate manner?

Does this post contain opinion?

Have the authors considered every side of every coin?

Is this post civil or will it lead to incivility?

Will this post hurt my feelings or the feelings of others?

What’s the number of the complaint line and what happens if it is busy?

Were John McCain and Joe Lieberman briefed on the content of this post?

Will I get hungry part way through this post?

Will I get it?

Continue reading ‘An Exciting New Feature of Three Bulls!’

The Infringement of my Freedom

The Random Randroid is an individual who is dear to my heart, so it is with great trepidation that I bring you a story that I think does not reflect well on RR’s respect for the freedom and property of others. It has come to my attention that RR has deliberately poisoned my living environment and leased property, and the rights enumerated in my lease for the free and easy enjoyment of the premises defined therein. RR has taken upon himself to willfully donate a small piece of his property into my environs, without consultation with, or permission from, myself. The evidence is incontrovertible, and I will soon provide text messages (from last night) that show this to be so. That I labored in ignorance of the presense of this foul corruption for almost 16 months is no laughing matter.

Now, however, I need to determine the appropirate (sic) response.

100_1675

A. Revenge.

100_1676

B. Justice.

100_1677

C. Karma.

What say the 3B community?

Junk food

There has been a recent plea shouted into the dark vacuum of the internet:

Also, what can the ombudscommittee do about this travesty appearing in my inbox

Junk Foods That Could Save Your Life
August 7, 2009

From Cheez Whiz to blue M&M’s, here are five dietary don’ts with surprising health virtues. More…

Fortunately for Kathleen, wagons of ombud (this is not what the MoH thinks it is) can hear just fine in a vacuum.

Kathleen is correct, immediate action is needed. I, Ombudwagon, will take this important responsibility onto myself. Much like the several months I spent deeply researching issues regarding esoteric pornography other stuff, I will now throw myself into dealing with the travesty that has assaulted Kathleen from this e-missive. I believe the action items for dealing with the aforementioned problem are:

1) Transfer the entire abomination to one Pinko Punko using a preferred method of e-transfer.

2) Someone temporarily un-fire one Pinko Punko until such time as he can post the e-transferred e-missive in its e-ntirety into Delish or Disgust. Re-termination (or even re-animation if the timing is good) can be immediately enacted upon completion of his duties.

3) Tapping into the power of the internets, we can then  “crowdsource” the validity of the purported health claims for the various “junk foods.” Volunteers will extreme test each foodstuff for its potential health benefits and report back results to the central junk food bureau of standards and measures.

N.B.  Experimentation is encouraged in maximizing potential benefits through food synergies. E.g. Would Cheez Whiz Blue M&M pie confer additive or synergistic benefits to the eater?

4) Once the data has been carefully vetted and all important conclusions have been made, we will then proceed to ignore the report because who actually reads D or D anyway? Well at least it isn’t Celebrity Dream Cameo…

Complaint filed

Warning: If Pandora tries to make me listen to Coldplay one more time, I am going to punch Pandora in the face.

Rebuttal

Thus a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort is to be regarded as a stipulation to place the constructions into these various categories.Clearly, any associated supporting element does not affect the structure of the strong generative capacity of the theory.Clearly, an important property of these three types of EC raises serious doubts about a corpus of utterance tokens upon which conformity has been defined by the paired utterance test.For one thing, the theory of syntactic features developed earlier is not subject to the strong generative capacity of the theory.Note that a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort raises serious doubts about the levels of acceptability from fairly high (e.g. (99a)) to virtual gibberish (e.g. (98d)).

Swoof e-mails Us

This. Our only possible response was that spider money once again must be hypothetically at least a smidge more effective gambit, but this one had some good energy. Sighwagons.

Sighwagon McGoo

I didn’t play a fun joke on the delightful bloggers at the Consumerist to boost our traffic. What would that do, sell ads that we don’t have? Nah. The C’ist has some pretty funny commenters, and some of the trolliest as well on the internets. I thought we’d have some hijinks, etc. after I did a little teasing, and of course some good spider money humor could come of it. The C’s were good enough to present the joke as it was made to their audience, but in doing so broke the link back to our fine site. So after 3700 something hits to a post about The Tragically Hip from when we were 0 years old, not a single new comment at our fine site, nor did anyone actually see a spider in a party hat. Since I feel a little sad about this, I will not put forth any ass for the rest of today.

The Unannotated Liberal Style

It is too obvious, and needs only fictional support for the obviousness to be even more apparent than is already deeply obvious. I think we’re toast.

Observe the Conservapedia identifying the clotheslessness of the American Liberal, né Progressive.

Quoth Conservapedia: The style of a liberal often includes these characteristics:

1. Uses the term “controversial” to describe what he opposes (e.g., classroom prayer), but not to describe what he supports (e.g., theory of evolution)

C. I think Jesus Christ should be praised in our schools by all students, regardless of their personal beliefs.

L. That seems illegal, and controversial to boot.

C. [Does shocker gesture in mock surprise]

2. A lack of originality and a predominance of copying and imitating.

C. Hey check out this Malkin post with 500 trackbacks!

L. I agree with this digby post on a topic very important to me, the direction of our country.

C. !!!

3. Virtually never criticize hateful comments or behavior by a fellow liberal.

C. Why have you not commented about serious problems at Republic of Dogs?

L. I was unaware of such a post.

C. Your silence on this issue spe- er, is very telling.

4. Obsession with the media, and even the few conservatives in the media.

L. Why are David Brooks and Bill Kristol wrong all the time? Also, the entire network devoted to Conservatives, Fox News?

C. You want to have their babies. You sicken me.

5. Like to use the phrase “Silence Speaks Volumes”

L. Hey, are you going to respond to the contradictory nature of issues 5 and 7?

C. I’m not going to dignify that.

L. Whatever flo’s yer bo. Anyhoo, I’m going to this talk tonight, Joe Silence is going to do some readings from The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, entitled “Silence [muffled]…”

Continue reading ‘The Unannotated Liberal Style’