In our last column, ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© and Gregor both ask where everyone has gone.
As usual, we have no useful answers to this, so instead we turn to the Oracle itself, Jim Thome’s (possibly fake) Twitter account:
DO YOU GUYS WANT TO KNOW THE AWFUL TRUTH ABOUT THE INTERWEBS OR DO YOU WANT TO SEE JIM JAM HIT SOME DINGERS?
I believe the answer is clear. Let us further explore this wisdom. On Salinger:
I NEVER DID UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD PLACE YOUR CATCHER ON SOME BREAD
A no-trade clause, perhaps?
On Fake Ozzie Guillen:
I HOPE YOU AREN’T SERIOUS ABOUT WANTED FISTED CUFFS, @FAKEOZZIE. JIMMERS IS A LOVER NOT A FIG
Fisted Cuffs. We sense an impending fashion trend. And figs
And, a further sign that the Pork Snorkel is slowly seeping into the sports culture:
I WOULD LIKE TO ADMIT TO THE USAGE OF HAM TO HELP ME HIT LOTS OF DINGERS
And immediately following:
YOUR SUPPORT MAKES JIMMERS FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIS USAGE OF CURED MEATS TO GAIN A COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE
While we do not normally condone posting in all caps, but we feel it is justified in this case. Commenters take note: this is only acceptable in cases of poking fun at sports fans. Example.
If you have any questions, I am certain Mr. Thome will be happy to answer them. DINGERS.
March 28, 2008 6:18 PM | Link to this
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! I’M COMMENTING ONLINE!
So some AJC chump writes an inane column, Fire Joe Morgan toasts it rightfully, then about 300 people descend upon he comment thread and fill it with unironic and ironic racism, a gigantic dollop of ageism, and just smackery all around. The above comment I think takes the gun cake.
Less than 50 words changed, some punctuation and names changed. Not family material. Original below. “Doctored” version here at WaPo. I wonder if Atrios gets some kickback from A-Blog for reading the Post. Even better yet, I think I’ll spend three dollars a day to have Atrios read the Post to Aravosis. That will save me negative $2.50 a day reading it myself.
teh l4m3: A Manwich at Heart
By Laura Blumenfeld
Wednesday, May 24, 2006; A21
Continue reading ‘So, Since When Was Gay Porn A WaPo Dealio?’
Phony GOP Iraq Withdrawal Bill
My advice to the Democrats: 1) enter into the floor debate and offer amendments that support Muthra’s true intent – immediately beginning withdrawal (not immediate withdrawal); 2) when the amendments fail abstain from voting; 3) accuse the Republic party of playing politics with our troops lives; and 4) run against the Republic party stooges by saying they voted against withdrawing our troops from Iraq.
UPDATE: Woops! Ha! Ha! I thought this was Daily Kos for a second. Nevermind!
UPDATE 2: Edited to add picture of Almond Joy and Boobie! Hey what’s that logo in the background of the Almond Joy picture? WTH?!?! OSM is EVERYWHERE!!!!
EXTREMELY RARE UPDATE 3: Edited to add picture of Jim Thome. Wowsers!