Archive for the 'Ultimate Baggery' Category

In which plover falls prey to the temptation to shoot fish in a barrel — not that fish

I happened to hear the following on C-SPAN yesterday. It is from a special orders speech by Trent Franks (R-AR).

Today has been sort of a remembrance of heroes. We’ve talked a lot about George Bush, we’ve talked a lot about Abraham Lincoln. In a sense, it is so appropriate to do that on January 22, isn’t it? Because we are reminded that, just as America was used after 6,000 years of rampant slavery in the world, we were the ones that had a moral conflict with it. And yes, we had a little disagreement called the Civil War over it, but we were used of God to change this tragedy of slavery, and now it is at least discredited all over the planet. And I believe that this country will be the country that will lead the world to discredit this tragic practice of killing our children before they’re born.

My first reaction was “Why haven’t I heard of this guy before? I mean, that’s some industrial grade dumbth. That’s like Steve King level stupid.”

Continue reading ‘In which plover falls prey to the temptation to shoot fish in a barrel — not that fish’

Put on Your Depends and Read This ASAP

I won’t spoil it by a preview. Read.

Thanks to Consumerist.

UPDATE


MORE UPDATE
Continue reading ‘Put on Your Depends and Read This ASAP’

Emuvosis-The Emuvosising

UPDATE: Jonah Goldberg gets the treatment here.

From the Japanese EP “Next Stop Chumpagon” 3B Wreckords presents our All Star salute to John Aravosis, Paid-triot, Legend, Ass.

I was hesitant to post because there is one voice in here that I felt could be misconstrued as a particular stereotype. The stereotype that it was meant to be construed as is one of a wise guy charlatan huckster, not any other.

Emuvosis mp3 [not shown on RSS]

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Below the fold are annotated lyrics, so one can fallow the Tears of the Emuvosis.
Continue reading ‘Emuvosis-The Emuvosising’

Hillarytroopers: sign up here!

Here in the Democratic People’s Republican Kingdom of the Unitarily Executed States of America, we must prepare for the great new day that will soon be dawning! Given that teh Hillary’s presidency has been anointed with all the inevitability that the inevitable anointers can find with which to anoint inevitably, we can be sure that we will inevitably need all available cadres to deliver a whole village of caring Hillarycare to every deserving American and to bring the wrath of the fearsome DemocratsJust imagine Joe Biden in leather — that ought to terrify you. down upon anyone who would still dare to uphold a conservative principle!

Continue reading ‘Hillarytroopers: sign up here!’

Who knew?

According to the future of American leadership at the Michigan State University chapter of Young Americans for Freedom (MSU-YAFNote this is not the usual conservative group that goes by YAF — the Young America’s Foundation — which is a more standard issue level of crazy. Update: Actually, according to Sadly, No!, the two YAFs are connected.), the “prissy RINOs” at Little Green Footballs are (h/t):

pro-Muslim, left-wing, politically correct, and basically a front for neoconservative foreign policy (instead of defending their culture, they want to build schools in the Anbar province). They are basically a puppet of the multiculturalists and believe that Islam is not the enemy of Western civilization and Christendom.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Sorry, sorry, but… “pro-Muslim“? “puppet of the multiculturalists“?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

The MSU-YAF blog continues:

Only Bush-bots read the Little Green Footballs blog.

[…]

Many of the comments on the LGF blog are critical of Pat Buchanan, Ron Paul, and paleoconservatism. If you are not a big government, globalist, middle-class-hating, promoter of economic treason, then LGF doesn’t like you.

LGF and Al Qaeda both have something in common: they hate Western civilization and those who stand up for it.

And how do we know that LGF is in league with al-Qaeda? Because in a nodding attempt at sanity, LGF actually denounced MSU-YAF for inviting Nick Griffin, head of the British National Party (basically white-supremacist, Holocaust-denying fascists), to campus in order to “explain how multiculturalism, mass immigration, and Islam are destroying Western civilization”.

According to LGF:

In the boneheaded move of the year, conservative student group Young Americans for Freedom invited British National Party (BNP) leader Nick Griffin, a flat-out racist and Holocaust denier, to speak about the dangers of Islam at Michigan State University: Protesters shout down anti-Islam speaker at MSU.

It’s not clear from the article whether this was part of Islamofascism Awareness Week or not, but if it was, the Young Americans for Freedom have just handed the enemy a huge gift on a platter, tied up with a lovely white supremacist bow.

This, of course, means that:

[LGF] hate[s] how YAF brought in a real anti-Islam speaker.

and that LGF, as Traitors to Western Civilization, must be smashed as the left-wing scum they are!!

Values Voterama

[PP adds: You may have read about the values Voter Debate elsewhere, but 3B actually had a correspondent in the room- the Random Randroid!!!!] Continue reading ‘Values Voterama’

O! For a muse of firepower!

The labors of John Hinderaker to reveal the unappreciated depths of George W. Bush may finally have been fulfilled. It has been well over a year since the art-critic-formerly-known-as-Hindrocket penned this plaintive lament:

It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

However, others may finally be starting to catch up with Hinderaker’s prescient assessment of Bush’s efforts. Continue reading ‘O! For a muse of firepower!’

Controversy!

Sing it, Prince!

Anyway. BG was staging a snit in about being the first commenter at Republic of DogsClassic Edition. We were unable to document said comment in the comment thread alluded to by Res himself in this post. Indeed, this is the only comment we found for the post in question. Yes, that is us wearing our emunian visage. However, we found something else that bobsmacked AND hogswaddled us to our very core:

Well now that well-known blogstud John Aravosis has opined on the new Star Wars flick, I suppose I must as well.

Unfortunately, some of us were just about to go to bed. Namely, myself.

I will say this, though, before slipping into dreamland:

Although I generally agree with John about most everything (because he’s hot)…

YUCKIES!

Boiled carrot head?

UPDATIOS:

Yosef was the first non original 3B-poster commenter at 3B. Who the hell is that?

Authorization to Use Military Force

Scipio Aemilianus Africanus

Many argued that the Republic needed a rival that was worthy of the name. Without rivalry, they demanded, how would Rome’s greatness ever be maintained? Such a question, of course, could have been asked only in a state where ruthless competition was regarded as the basis of all civic virtue. Unsurprisingly, however, a majority of citizens refused to stomach its implications. For more than a century they had been demonizing the Carthaginians’ cruelty amd faithlessness. Why, most citizens wondered, should the standards of Roman life be applied to the protection of such a foe? This question was duly answered by a vote to push Carthage into war. By aiming at her complete annihilation, the Republic revealed what the logical consequence of its ideals of success might be. In such brutality, unmediated by any nexus of fellowship or duty, lay the extremes of the Roman desire to be the best.

In 149 [BCE] the hapless Carthaginians were given the vindictive order to abandon their city. Rather than surrender to such a demand, they prepared to defend their homes and sacred places to the death. This, of course, was precisely what the hawks back in Rome had been hoping they would do. The legions moved in for the kill.

— Holland, Rubicon: The Last Years of the Roman Republic, p. 33.

Continue reading ‘Authorization to Use Military Force’

We don’t hate…

…we cobagitate!!!

Atrios has a post up about why people hate the A-List bloggers. He list 6 reasons that he supposes. If those are the only choices, I’m going to go with #6: They’re stupid and ugly and nobody likes them.

However, I think firstly, that we don’t actually hate any of them. We may not be big fans or supporters, or we may not care fro them in the slightest, but we don’t hate them.

But… This sounds like a fun contest to keep us all occupied over the weekend. Let us know in comments why you think we hate the A-List bloggers. Any reason you come up with will be valid and taken into consideration – whether it’s because they focus too much on their own pet issues and not enough with the bigger picture, or simply because they’re doo-dooheads. The winner who comes up with the best reason why we hate them will receive 1(one) Cobag point* to be added to his/her existing total.

I’ll even get things started. We hate the A-List Bloggers because they get to snort coke off the $50k hookers asses, while we have to snort baking powder off of a roach motel.

Your turn!

*Actual amount of Cobag points awarded may differ due to possible revaluation of Points System.

UPDATE- Yo, if you click ASIDE, it gets posted in the sidebar