For our second installment of Ombudsman Heritage Week, we turn to nature, and the ombudsmanly patterns inscribed thereon. (For the remainder of this post, we will assume a position of Intelligent Design. ID is the official position of COBA, as an impartial compromise between Young Earth Creationism and evolution.)
Many organisms in nature reflect common intentions of the (neutrally unspecified) Designer in wide-spread patterns with apparently random variations that clearly therefore display the direct hand of an intelligence at work. An intelligence whose subtlety is an inspiration to ombudsmen everywhere. One of the greatest places in the natural world to see ombudsmanly behaviour is in the insect world. In fact, it’s even been said that ombudsmanry is a pattern that imitates various aquatic insects, except for those considered “Welsh”. (“Welsh” insects are decidedly non-neutral—Designer humour?)
One trait that skilled ombudsmen are known for is that of patience. And what greater representative in nature is that of the 17-year cicada? It lies deep underground, waiting its turn for a frenzy of activity, just as the ideal ombudsman waits until it is appropriate to act in defense of the impartiality of a publication!
And what of the honeybee and their waggle dances? It turns out that every bee has been designed with an ombudsmanly trait—to limit the communication of erroneous information. Worker honeybees do this with wiggling of their behinds. Ombudsmen do it with their pens and keyboards. The similarities are striking!
Just as ombudsmanly traits have been inscribed in nature, surely they have been inscribed in the being of ombudsmen throughout history. An accident? Surely not.
TOMORROW: Ombudsmen in Renaissance art.
Sure your lesser sites may blog about their precious kittens or orchids or even slightly more dangerous animals like lions and tigers but we here at Three Bulls! bring you Africa’s deadliest wild animal! That’s right, the wild hippopotamus, as seen here at the headwaters of the Blue Nile.
(Image hosted by FLICKR)
I had a little wrestle with this brute to teach him who was boss while the other faranj remained in the safety of the boat. It had been a while since the placid waters of Lake Tana had witnessed a battle as epic as ours but suffice it to say that I am now known as the King of the Hippos!! But being a good liberal, and not one to hold a grudge, I have let bygones be bygones. And I truly feel that we can learn a thing or two from our hippo friends; especially about degradation:
Hippos defecate copious amounts into the rivers and ponds in which they wallow all day and also partake of a charming ritual described by hippo experts as “dung showering.” They blow crap mixed with urine all over the place to humiliate their hippo rivals and inferiors and mark the territory around their watering hole, swishing their little tails to be sure to get plenty of coverage at nose level.
So how about we invite Chazmo and Vox Day over for a little “pool party” Three Bulls! style?!
Posted in comments at Vox Popoli:
“”Date rape” is nothing but post-sex buyer’s remorse. Male victims refer to it as “beer goggles” or “slumming”.
VD | 11.25.05 – 10:47 am | #”
Why does Vox hate women so much? I would hate to slur gay men by claiming that Vox is nothing more than an overcompensating gay man, and I wouldn’t ever use that as an insult. In this case, he would be insulted but it is merely Three Bulls! searching for an explanation of clearly pathological behavior. Can somebody please tell us wtb is going on with this guy?
Is it an apologia for an uncontrolable libido? Do these dudes think that they can’t control themselves, and that their natural feelings are being criminalized? Huh, these are the same cobwads that gay-bash and blame fat people for being fat. But when it comes to their little stiffies, well how could they be held responsible for their urges? They are only natural, right? Cobaggery of an incomparable level.
Jamie R., how could you?