Archive for the 'Words Fail' Category

Shorter Matthew Yglesias

Shorter Matthew Yglesias:

Conservatives think people should be punished for making the wrong choices. Since the current economic climate makes such punishment operationally* true, let’s make lemonade.

Matt suggests that these punishments are meted out for things like picking the wrong major, [maybe also glue sniffing???]. No evidence that these punishments are a universal feature of the economy, though term “vast majority” is bandied.

Bonus made up shorter:

Since the economy demands petroleum engineers, the right choice would be to become a petroleum engineer. The wrong choice would be to not accept a world in which you couldn’t be happy. My choices involved attending the most prestigious schools in the country and have the means and opportunities to do so, yet my success is defined by my hard work and valuable skills. Have I mentioned that my career is blogger, invite me to your panel. We’ll always have the Olive Garden.

Mirror universe Yglesias- TWO count ’em TWO neckbeards, plus goatee:

Credit where credit is due file, the trains do run on time

Or:

Standard of living in Ethiopia/Eritrea certainly would benefit from being brought to an Italian standard of living. It would be wise for progressives to concede this point to Mussolini.

Or:

Pretend

I’m Matthew Yglesias. I’ve said something terrible. Not difficult. BUT, since my MY commenting system is annoying, you can’t change your handle for hilarious ripostes. You can use this thread. I will start.

Mystery Art Bage

3Bbabyweb

From our fave.

Rebuttal

Thus a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort is to be regarded as a stipulation to place the constructions into these various categories.Clearly, any associated supporting element does not affect the structure of the strong generative capacity of the theory.Clearly, an important property of these three types of EC raises serious doubts about a corpus of utterance tokens upon which conformity has been defined by the paired utterance test.For one thing, the theory of syntactic features developed earlier is not subject to the strong generative capacity of the theory.Note that a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort raises serious doubts about the levels of acceptability from fairly high (e.g. (99a)) to virtual gibberish (e.g. (98d)).

The Evil Rich, Let Us Eat Them

I don’t know why upper class entitled bullying is more abrasive than the run-of-the-mill kind. Perhaps it is the creatively baroque nature it always takes, especially from people that shouldn’t have a care in the world and are clearly doing it out of the pathological boredom that their lives of shallow (un)ease must certainly entail.

For example. Shorter previous:

This future turdblossom:

robbins

Apparent sociopathic goonwagon harasses teacher, fuels early adopter Facebook cobaggery/shitstorm wherein purposeless, aimless high school choads perform the digital version of the Exlax brownie for teacher, or more aptly, the acid tab in the morning coffee, for shits/giggles. Or not- distaff view from the supergenius Ross Douthat (come to your own conclusions, but comments are priceless).

Anyhow, since I am heading for permanent grampa pants, I have to say, I don’t approve of getting one’s kicks by doing anything to anyone’s food, nor do I approve of harassing the hell out of someone on the internet and being a total cobag.

That being said, Gawker has taken Coburger above and given him his own category. Inappropriately I feel a bit of joy about this. Similarly, when Wonkette goes after Late Nite Shots, sometimes I let myself down with tiny smiles, laced with a touch of “you ****ing pricks.”

So if Charles “Chazmo” Stam “The Staminator” wants to Google himself and therefore appear on our page, I invite him to use this public platform to defend his actions and advocate for his good-guy nature. We’ll then set the hug timer and invite the space unicorns into the hot tub. It’s a Columbia thing. I think AG would even pass on this Ivy, Jewish tater tot.

Put on Your Depends and Read This ASAP

I won’t spoil it by a preview. Read.

Thanks to Consumerist.

UPDATE


MORE UPDATE
Continue reading ‘Put on Your Depends and Read This ASAP’

A wee little request

Dearest Geenie Cola, may we please, just this one special day, have special dispensation for dropping of the f-bomb? Hopefully the dropping will be of the joyous “AMERICA F*** YEAH!” variety and not of the “F***!!!!!” variety. I beseech you Geenie Cola.

6 Meat Buffet Just Went All In

Making light of a public figure who has just died, say Jerry Falwell, who has influenced millions and has spewed forth actual and countless bigotries is one thing. It appears that bloggers like you and me can also be savaged upon our untimely deaths. I am not enraged at this point because I can hardly be surprised at the incredible racism, soullessness and inhumanity in the service of, essentially, a fat joke cloaked in false equivalence and supposed ironic hypocrisy. *Clap clap* Totally believable, completely disgusting.