Archive for the 'Yo!06' Category

Yo La Tengo is not afraid of me and consequently beat my ass

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A week ago last Thursday night, I had the fortunate and thrilling experience of having Yo La Tengo beat my ass. It seems like the rumours of their suckificatio and obsolescence were exaggerated. Not only was this the best Yo La Tengo show I have ever been to, but I feel like the band is fiercer and more relevant than ever before.

The first sign that we were in for a treat was the opening song, Little Honda. It was to be a theme of the evening, the seamlessness of the old and sometimes very very old with the brand spanking new. While I’m not familiar with the new tracks, the songs were immediately recognizable as being new, and not in the crappy Summer Sun kind of new. For example, the first new song, Pass the Hatchet, I Think I’m Goodkind, is an epic and amazing drone/jam. It features a bass line that keeps repeating the same four notes relentlessly and some fantastic guitar work from Ira Kaplan. In fact, watching Ira play multiple guitars all evening in some fantastic styles and poses, one might wonder if he isn’t one of the all-time great guitar players. But stop for a second and listen to Pass the Hatchet, and tell me if there is a flaw in the music.

Pass the Hatchet

There were plenty of old and great songs in the show, many featuring novel arrangements or interpretations. Great old songs included Autumn Sweater, Tears are in my eyes, Big Day Coming, Yellow Sarong, and much much more. These integrated seamlessly with some new songs, including the delightful and ageless Mr. Tough.

The highlight of the evening for me, was the last segment of the show before intermission. Yo La Tengo played what sounded like the first few notes of I heard you looking, which got me excited about hearing the song. Instead, though, they played about a twelve minute jam based on the theme. If that weren’t enough, they then actually went and played I heard you looking for like another ten minutes. The sound of looking has never been so sweet. So yes, having my ass beat by Yo La Tengo was pretty good. Next time I’ll let them bring a riding crop.

Light Posting for the Rest of the Week LOLMAOROF!!!1

Christ I hope that Castro outlasts chimpy’s presidency. Having survived Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, and Clinton it would be a freaking shame to smoke the big cigar in the sky during W’s reign. Can you imagine how Turd Blossom and Evil Con Carne would exploit that situation turning it inevitably into a collosal cobagal cluster? Hell Fidel if you need blood or a liver (I have two of those right?) I’m here for you buddy.

Also have you guys started preparations for the C1K and the threadiversary? These are the last days.

This man for instance is definitely ready for the C1K. (Image hosted by Flickr)

UPDATE1:  Somebody understands the gravity of the C1K situation.

UPDATE2: Lil Teh Teh steals my thunder.  The only other thing that I would add regarding Fidel is to ask has there been a more impressive politician on the world stage over the past 50 years?

Lawrence Tero is a Man among, well something…

And just who is Lawrence Tero, you ask?

Well, it seems the liberal media is disclosing secrets again. This time by including the alleged real name of one of America’s favorite tough guys – Mr. T.

Sure, sure, they’re trying to be nice and say what a great guy he is for giving up his gold, but what we really notice is they decide to throw in his real name. Why do we need to know that? Who doesn’t know who Mr. T is? I mean sure, you can miss a lot of pop culture things when you’re solving differential equations on top of diagrams of the cellular structure whilst shooting lasers at crystals in the Puget Sound, but you would still know who Mr. T is.

Of course, we also see in the story that Mr. T will be starting a show on TV Land this fall giving advice to people with troubles. 

What question would you ask Mr. T for his advice?

Happy Fourth of July

So about 230 years ago or thereabouts a bunch of people got together and signed this document:

The Declaration of Independence.

Whoa, a pretty powerful and extremely radical document. Anyway, with such groundwork laid and after ten years of pretty intense fighting, thinking, planning and politicking, they came up with this document:

The Constitution of the United States of America.

A masterpiece, flawed but nevertheless a masterpiece! Over the next centuries, some but certainly not all of the flaws were gradually fixed, and the document evolved to reflect the context of time. Oh sure there were missteps and battles but in general progress was made.

That was until about six years ago (or was it fifty years ago in the McCarthy era, or 35 years ago in the Nixon era or 25 years ago in the Reagan era or 15 years ago in the Bush I era – [persistent buggers ain’t they?]) that a bunch of fearful-pee-puddle-standing bible-thumping-but-not-reading-or-living hating-on-anyone-that-is-different-from-them-but-especially-those-that -are-browner-or-have-a-different-religion-or-different-sexual-orientation- or-different-political-beliefs-or-no-religious-beliefs-or-are-poor -or-down moralizing colacular hatebots worked really hard to effect this subtle change on the Constitution:

The Constitution of the United States of America.*

*P5YCH3!!!!!!! ROFLMAO I CAN’T B3LI3V3 YOU L035RZ FELL FOR THAT! PWN3D!!!!11

PS: Don’t get burned by any molten lava barbequed pork fat! And have a fantastic 4th of July!!!!!!!!

Getting to know your Candidates – Yo!06

Everybody loves to read his posts, but what everyone really wants to know is “Who is Yosef, really?

 

 Perhaps we can learn more from a devoted reader and fan’s email to THYCWOTI:

Yosef, I think that, as a scientific break from all the politics and sport, you should review this splendiferous book and its theory… or at least the review of the book at this webpage.  Here’s a small excerpt:

In Who Built the Moon (Watkins 2005), authors Christopher Knight and Alan Butler have opened a discussion for new questions regarding the existence of the Moon. They suggest that there are more than enough anomalies about the Moon to come to the conclusion that it is not a naturally occurring body and was quite possibly engineered to sustain life on Earth.

Delicious, no?  Oh, but there’s more:  silly ratios of sun to earth to moon, weights that prove the moon is hollow, pixie dust… oh, wait, I made that one up.  Go.  Look.  Point.  Giggle from behind your hand.
Jean

And how did Jean get in touch with THYCWOTI about this amazing book? Why naturally she emailed Dr. Seb at Sadly, No!.

I’d like to thank Jean for her email and say that I will check out that website, and I will include in my platform against Nathan Tabor that the Moon was built by The Ancient Darwin Fish who spewed froth all creation from its mouth while on the back of a Vanagon.

I’d also like to let Jean know that it may be easier to reach me by leaving a comment here at 3Bulls! than by emailing some evil French-Canadian living in Germany.

Remember people, I’m actually the only person on the internets who is only one person. And if you try to say otherwise, I’ll get the NY Law Firm to sue you for libel. 

YO!06

Yosef

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Please help Big Yosef smash Nathan Tabor, allowing a TRUE THYCWOTI and not some pretend UNTHYCWOTI to represent.

Ask the Candidate

Special presentation brought to you by the Yo!06 campaign.

In an effort to let my constituents get to know me better, I have decided to answer your questions.

For this installment, Thorlac writes (via Sadly No!):

Tabor Delendum Est! Is there any way that this could kinda sorta be twisted euphemistically to mean “Tabor Must Go Down”? Isn’t ignorance of Latin becoming mandatory in this country? Like the metric system? When was the last time you measured anything other than drugs using grams? Can someone give my chain a good yank before I tumble from a precipitous digression? There’s a good chap.

Whoa! Slow your spurs down there, Tex! Let’s take this one at a time:

(edit: no I’m not a pirate)

Tabor Delendum Est! Is there any way that this could kinda sorta be twisted euphemistically to mean “Tabor Must Go Down”?

Of course! This is the internets! Anything can mean anything you want it to. You could even invent a term that is a non-gender specific derogatory term by fusing the 2 words that make up a medical apparatus!

Isn’t ignorance of Latin becoming mandatory in this country?

Esse quam videri, ese! That’s all we care about in NC! Only Candidate Yosef will give you the choice to be ignorant of all other latin!

Like the metric system?

No, I don’t really like it, although it can be useful.

When was the last time you measured anything other than drugs using grams?

As I said on Sadly, No!, the date was October 29, 2005. It was sometime in the evening.

Can someone give my chain a good yank before I tumble from a precipitous digression?

While I have no idea what this sentence even means, it sounds like something that teh could help you out with.

There’s a good chap.

It’s “Chaps” with an “s”. And yes, they are good.

Well, I hope Thorlac and all the rest of y’all learned a little more about your candidate today. If you would like to have your question answered by the candidate on 3B!, feel free to submit any questions in the comments.

Thank you and may God continue to bless 3B!

Yosix!!!

It has begun

That’s right my fellow chundermuffins, I hereby announce that I am running for NC keep-Nathan-Tabor-unelected-er from the 3B! District.

Even though I believe I’ve skipped over all the posts about Tabor on SadNo and World O’Crap and therefore have little to no idea who he is, I will take a break from archnemesising Judson Cox and Chuckles (chunderdouche) in order to keep Nathan Tabor out of the NC State Senate.

You can read my first campign speeches at Sadly, No!

And my first campaign promise is this: I T’AIN’T NO COBAG!!!!

The funny thing is, at first, I thought they said Tabor was running for senate for NC, and I thought, this is the guy that’s going to beat Liddy Dole and Raymond, er Richard Burr?! Gimme a break.

Thank you for your support.

Announcing

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UPDATE! Please sign below a petition supporting Yosef! You may sign anonymously or as your celebrity self:

Example:

“I support Yosef! He feeds me cats”-Alf

Announcing

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UPDATE
Please sign below a petition supporting Yosef! You may sign anonymously or as your celebrity self:

Example:
“Tabor is a cobag, but I’d do him, he seems cuddly”-teh l4m3