Monthly Archive for February, 2006
Page 2 of 6
That has got to hurt. As they say in the business: “You mess with the bulls, you get the horns, COBAG!12111!”
First, they have a contest for all you computer jocks. I’m thinking fulsome has the talent for this one.
Second, they bring us a tale of Toaster Schluessel vs. Cheeto Monster. It’s better than you could have possibly imagined.
Finally, since the material is so good as is the cute Yellow Elephant, it seems the comments over there shouldn’t just be a Pinko Punko/Assparrot mutual admiration society. Where is the Chuckles? Where is the jexter?
Sure your lesser sites may blog about their precious kittens or orchids or even slightly more dangerous animals like lions and tigers but we here at Three Bulls! bring you Africa’s deadliest wild animal! That’s right, the wild hippopotamus, as seen here at the headwaters of the Blue Nile.
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I had a little wrestle with this brute to teach him who was boss while the other faranj remained in the safety of the boat. It had been a while since the placid waters of Lake Tana had witnessed a battle as epic as ours but suffice it to say that I am now known as the King of the Hippos!! But being a good liberal, and not one to hold a grudge, I have let bygones be bygones. And I truly feel that we can learn a thing or two from our hippo friends; especially about degradation:
Hippos defecate copious amounts into the rivers and ponds in which they wallow all day and also partake of a charming ritual described by hippo experts as “dung showering.” They blow crap mixed with urine all over the place to humiliate their hippo rivals and inferiors and mark the territory around their watering hole, swishing their little tails to be sure to get plenty of coverage at nose level.
So how about we invite Chazmo and Vox Day over for a little “pool party” Three Bulls! style?!
I’ve been putting off writing anything for 3B for a while now. Blame it on fear of WordPress. I once logged onto WordPress, and it punched me in the groin. How is that fair? You can appreciate that I may be a little leary of future encounters with WordPress, but I’m going to do my best to get along. I’m not ready to upload any images yet, but I’m certainly ready to music blog. Once PP lets me onto Delicious or Disgusting, I will have much food blogging to do as well. That’s pretty much all I’m good for. Maybe some curling blogging when the time comes for Canada to claim gold…..
1) Hide In The Light – The Sunshine Fix
In the olden days, there was a genre of music called Elephant 6. It was retropoppy psychedelic and I liked it very much. Sunshine Fix existed in the still heydays of E6, but after the breakup of Olivia Tremor Control. This track is from Age of Sun, which is one of the sunniest most Beatles-y CDs I know of. Think twee with bells and whistles. 9/10
2) Say Something New – The Concretes
PP introduced me to The Concretes as a better version of Belle and Sebastian [not true, that was Camera Obscura- ed.], and while I don’t think they are better, they’re kind of equally good in a divergent way. The lead singer’s voice has this sweet slurry quality and they have that distinctive Scottish [they are Scandinavian -ed] mopey sensibility that frequently leads to great heartbreaky songs. This particular song isn’t one of the best on their s/t CD. They lyrics are kind of repetitive; to the point where you just want them to, well, say something new. 7.5/10
3) Woodlands National Anthem – The Arcade Fire
Like every other poseur out there, I ended up getting the Arcade Fire s/t EP after it was re-released following the stunning Funeral release. Their first effort is not quite as good, but the songs have their own memorable qualities. Woodlands National Anthem features some terrific duet singing and is a worthy B-side to any of the Funeral tracks. 8/10
In a stunning internet debut, Chip and Halford drop a little superstar into our contest and trash the voting like rock stars. Only the cold, calculating mind could discern that cute+cobag=goldmine. Certainly, if we had this contest again, we’d be swamped with puppies, unmutant kittens and a variety of cutesy-oneupsmanship, the kind of foul cobaggery that is the Editors’ calling card. A dominant performance! Let us be regaled by the winning entry!
I think this entry really shows how classy Three Bulls! is. Total class.
Chip and Halford win a lovely prize Delicious and Disgusting prize-pack, a t-shirt with the header design of their choice, and a Song of the Day Sampler. Electronically contact me with your info, kids!
I want to thank everyone that entered. I am being serious now, not my usually no-talent, pork-besotted smart arseness. Three Bulls! has been touched, TOUCHED by all the wonderful, thoughtful entries. All entries received several votes, and even late entries from Tigrismus and teh l4m3 were totally Three Bulls! I’d like to spotlight Notochord’s two entries, because he’s pretty quiet around here, but he took the time to do some really nice work, I think that the Ronnie on the Dolphin/Noonan pooping was clearly a fan fave. I liked every single entry, and all entries will rotate through the Three Bulls! header, so I’d like you all to know that when somebody comes to Three Bulls because they’re looking for “straight guys caught s*cking **ck free”, they’ll have a 4% chance of seeing your hard work as they click through to pr0n-ier pastures.
While we think he split the vote with three stunning entries, Gavin M., our hero of heroes plop-plopped three awesome entries into our contest, and lo! Fizz, they did not. They sizzed. Originally this entry appeared to be in first place, but Pryce-Waterhose-Crappers-Liebrand-NY Accounting Firm noticed that Excel is unable to add a number with two consecutive decimals such as 8..66. So, Chuckles got kicked into third while the wunderkind of Sadly, No! slides craftily into second place. Please pay your respects to the entry below!
Gavin wins a Song of the Day sampler set, a veritable WAD of Take 5s and assorted goodies! E-me s’il vous plait with your info, Gavin M.
With a solid 86 points, just nipping “I Can’t Quit You Cobag”/”Shootout at the Take 5 corral” from Gavin M. I have to say Chuckles brought it STRONG to this competition. I just said that in my Simon Cowell voice. I tried to make it look like 1) this was a very important competition and 2) we have not essentially subcontracted our content to our more talented readers. That’s what we call a Lowry. Chuckles had three strong entries, but one clearly tapped the zeitgeist of Three Bulls! readers, it touched a raw, emotional nerve-
We give you:
BONOBO KNIFE FIGHT!!!!!!!
I’m convinced C-man would have swept away all comers if it had been Bonobo-Cheney knifef fight. Chuckles wins a Song of the Day sampler set! Please e-me your info, Chuck!
Pinko Punko, Uncanny Canadian, Yosef, Carina, GFoH and all the other porkatarians out there, this pork is for you! Barcelona hams, hanging from the ceiling, with individual grease cups, looking like oh so many porcine angels! May you always walk in such beauty.
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