Monthly Archive for July, 2006

Light Posting for the Rest of the Week LOLMAOROF!!!1

Christ I hope that Castro outlasts chimpy’s presidency. Having survived Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, and Clinton it would be a freaking shame to smoke the big cigar in the sky during W’s reign. Can you imagine how Turd Blossom and Evil Con Carne would exploit that situation turning it inevitably into a collosal cobagal cluster? Hell Fidel if you need blood or a liver (I have two of those right?) I’m here for you buddy.

Also have you guys started preparations for the C1K and the threadiversary? These are the last days.

This man for instance is definitely ready for the C1K. (Image hosted by Flickr)

UPDATE1:  Somebody understands the gravity of the C1K situation.

UPDATE2: Lil Teh Teh steals my thunder.  The only other thing that I would add regarding Fidel is to ask has there been a more impressive politician on the world stage over the past 50 years?

Could Someone Please

Alleviate the tension in my serious pants. They are wadded to an extreme tightness. It’s not right. I almost wish someone would order out for gun cake.

Speaking of gun cake, the header contest closes tomorrow at noon PST and winners will be announced. Remember rules and voting here. Funny thing about those rules, we have some more entries, entered at an extreme disadvantage, however perhaps this is a stealthy ruse.

UPDATE: The secret hidden final version of Entry 13:

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We have Entry 13: Super Pinkomon Bros. from Plover. Ooh yeah, sink lettuce!

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Nice one, do you think Cthulhu could be handled by sink yeast?

We also have an addendum alternate Entry 13: Kind of a behind the scenes lighter side to sink lettuce. The food poisoning side.

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Entry 14, from Capt. Trollypants. I think he has a he/she/it/bird crush on plover.

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And the final fish-approved version of MECHA-EMU:

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Susumu Tonegawa=Susemu Tonegawemu

UPDATE: we provide the file

Ok kids, Globe has all the e-mails between Dr. Karpova and MIT. Thanks to Mike D. in comments for the heads up and to Margaret Soltan). Remember MIT has a hiring fracas going on. There are claims of a gender situation, we think it is only de facto about gender, but really about scientific ego and power. We have been covering this story- go here for background. Long story short, he totally ratf***ed her. I realize this does not seem like a scientific term, the Globe however has a downloadable file with the transcribed e-mails between the two, and Dr. T really turns on the ooze [file is here: MITmail2.doc ]. I shall quote from them here, note the subject line is “Subject: CONFIDENTIAL”:

Continue reading ‘Susumu Tonegawa=Susemu Tonegawemu’

In Contrast to What the Emus Think

I don’t ever let success go to my head, in fact I always think I am basically just pulling it out of my *ss.  So why do I let failure go to my head?  Good question.  Not answered today.  Also:  other things that get me down: 1) improper use of colons.  2) People that do not vote here in the header contest. And they need to follow the rules.  Since I am low, so very low today, I will share with you something that has laid me so low.

This is a future conversation I will have with Baskin-Robbins customer service, and before you claim “tired, derivative, desperate web logging of mundane customer service beefs,” let this one come to its sad conclusion.  I know, Berube does not discuss his inability to order a goddamned toasted, I said toasted, BMT at the local Subway #27. Do the Cheddators go for easy laffs RE: Wendy’s drive thru human finger/Frosty™ (ONLY COMES IN CHOCOLATE, DOUCHEGEISERS, WHERE DID THEY GROW YOU?  A CORN FIELD?)?  Certainly not.

None of that is relevant to this obscure and laying low experience.  I really just wanted a McDonald’s Soft-Servo coneroni. 1 dollar, effective in its cooling qualities, especially in the counteraction of the “no AC at work week” week that is this current week.  However, we demurred in our ice cream choice to the lies, damned lies that is the “31″ flavors.  This loco is more like 18.  No matter.  We decided to go with Cookies and Cream on a sugar cone.  To be honest, this choice was motivated by not wanting the Jamocha Almond Fudge, as OJ Simpson ordered such on his way back from one of the trials (seriously, true story, we called all the LA Baskins to see what cool treat the Juice picked up on the night of the verdict, can’t remember if it was the Murder rap or the civil case, it just seemed so ridiculous with the press choppers following the car- “they appear to be stopping, they are pulling into, into a…Baskin-Robbins).

“Dear Baskin-Robbins 1-800 number responder, please tell us if the actions described here represent your company policy at the 2399 other Baskin Robbins in existence, or merely the unfortunate one graced by Three Bulls! [will be redacted for privacy reasons] staff. Allow us to explain our situation.

As has been our wont since the dawning of our time on this earth, we asked for chocolate sprinkles on our cone.  The BR ice cream tech, looked at us quizically, asking us if we “wanted it in a cup.”

“No, on a cone please.”

“We can’t put sprinkles on a cone.”

“Sure you can, just throw it on in there and roll it around.  It’ll be all good.”

“No, see the ice cream is wet.” [points to sprinkles, somehow conveying the impossibilty of my seemingly imp(r)udent request]
“They do it at every other ice cream place in America.”

“We don’t do it here.”

Was I in the wrong, did I make all this up?  Have I hallucinated the several hundred times I’ve gotten the forbidden sprinkles on my ice cream cone? Perhaps he was worried about the ice cream getting on the sprinkles?  Does he not know that the aforementioned “wet” or perhaps tacky/sticky nature of the ice cream will allow sprinkles to stick to the ice cream glob, sucking up sprinkles until no more can stick, effectively creating a barrier between the despoiled ones and the virginal ones remaining in the sprinkle dish?
He then proceeded to add insult to injury by taking a spoon and shaking about a dozen sprinkles onto the top my forlorn cone.

I was so laid low.  To add insult to insult the bottom of the cone fell off when I took the paper off and the cookies were supplemented by a new form of crunchiness known in physcis circles as chunks of ice.  Lower than low.

I felt veritably surrounded by what Bobby Lightfoot would refer to as Audi drivers.

Goddamn low.

How To Vote In the Header Contest

Put it in comments on this very thread!

We quote ourselves:

“Here’s how the voting works: everyone needs to vote in the thread for this post. Vote for three entries by number, and give each entry between 5 and 10 points.
If you think they are all great, you can give first place 10 points, second place 9 points and third place 8 points. If you love one but not the others, you can give first place 10 points, second place 6 points, and third place 5 points. Does that make sense? Basically, you need to give a different point value for each place, between 5 and 10 points and vote for three.

Listen, if it were simple, it wouldn’t be Three Bulls! Thank you for making us eat it with your talent. We have been humbled by your efforts. Mucho Gracias, cobags!!!”

We have been confounded by a confounding situation.  We’ll have that for you later.  Nebulous forces, etc. etc.  I would hope that we get enough voting to accurately determine the winner and not just who has more groupies.  Heh, if they are like Sosemu Tonegawemu groupies they will entertain, but probably screw up voting by the rules.

HEADER CONTEST TIME, CHUMPALUMPS!

Contest Luke, Matthew, John and Mark II, chupa chups!

Remember a glorious day where the forces of cobagitation came together and celebrated in the glory that was a creative upwelling of color, font and heavily armed bonobos? Yes, dear readers, our first header contest was a high point in the lifetime of this web log. And before its life can be snuffed out, we will vainly try to regain this glory. The entries are below. We will keep voting closed as an entire other post is required to explain our voting rules, which fulsome will screw up or at least violate in spirit. I cannot wait for his show trial. Entries will be accepted up to, during and after voting has closed. Entries received after voting has closed have a mathematically low probability of winning. Click headers for larger views.

UPDATE!! Mock up of MECHA-EMU, pending fish’s OK, it is Entry 12:

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Entry 1: KHAN!!! Kidding, Kane. Hey, why hasn’t anyone whipped up any Montalban? From tigrismus. This one needs a second shot because it was somehow marginalized earlier.
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Entry 2: Chickety check! From tigrismus.

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Entry 3: Gefiltepork. Yum. From tigrismus.

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Entry 4: Chuckles jealousy generator (I think Noto stole Chuckie’s thunder). From Notochord.

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Entry 5: Hee. UC style from fish.

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Entry 6: Cheney cockblocks the world. From fish.
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Entry 7: Mooooooooooooooooooo-buhSQWACK!!!! From Clif.
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Entry 8: Top Gump Cake. From Clif.

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Entry 9: Three B vs. Three E, no contest. From almostinfamous.

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Entry 10: Munch! From “The Cobagitator.”

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Entry 11: It Girl! From “The Cobagitator.”

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Concerning the Thickening of a Plot

As is its won’t, it does not cease thickening in a thick like manner.

Typed into comments on the internets today, at our pad and Dr. Shellie’s RE:Susemu Tonegawemu/MIT sitch.  Better click for the jump, we have some goldmine situation.  Continue reading ‘Concerning the Thickening of a Plot’

We Are Not Dead

We only appear that way to the trained nose.

In order to get away from the recent heaviness, we shall retreat to melted movie theatre chocolate and a contemplation of Barbara Bel Geddes in Vertigo:

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An excellent performance, very well layered.  I want the enemies of Three Bulls! to know that even if we may seem to be the mild-mannered, besotted, witty and helpful friend, if unseen forces continue to swirl about us implying that outing us will have any effect on our voices, they are sadly mistaken.

Today’s Post

Was first going to be our delightful header contest.  Then it was going to be a soul-crushingly depressing serious pants mulling of the total clusterf*** the parallel paths of the American neocons and the Israeli Likudniks have taken.  Just as the nature of American foreign policy under Bushwad has essentially destroyed  the ability of America to be supported in neutral quarters under even vaguely ethical philosophical frameworks, thus the Israeli actions in Lebanon.  Now nobody wants to read that here.  it turns out we can’t even do header contest today because stupid-ass proposal due TUH-DAY not TAH-MARRAH.  I am eating it.

Oh look a Gregor post!  Hey, there’s Uncanny!  Er, Yosef?  Trollypants?  Professor Booty? Anyone?

PupH? Smokeydog?  Mendacious D?  plover? tigrismus? Cheddators?  Bradrocket? Pammie? Pugsleypants?  I’m getting desperate here.  Cheney?  AG?

MIT Fracas Hits the Bigs

Science, one of the top two scientific journals (quit yer cheezin, Cell, I think you know you are a total rag) covers the Tonegawa/MIT stuff in today’s issue.  There is not a whole lot new from the Globe article earlier in the week, which we discussed here.  We will quote a little from the end of the piece in Science (subscription wall) where we have some new info:

“Tonegawa’s supporters at MIT, however, say that any suggestion of gender bias is absurd. “To portray it as such sets back the cause for women scientists,” states a 7 July letter to Hockfield from a half-dozen Picower Institute faculty members. Tonegawa is under no obligation to collaborate with anyone, they write, adding that he contacted Karpova “at her instigation.” But other sources familiar with the content of e-mails sent by the 68-year-old Tonegawa to the postdoc say his words went beyond the issue of collaboration and conveyed hostility.

Reif says that he will chair a committee to investigate both the Karpova affair and how neuroscience is organized at the university, adding that “a bit of tension seems to be underlying this set of events.” And on 17 July, Hockfield wrote the women faculty members that MIT apologizes to Karpova “for any misunderstanding.” The gender issue may be beside the point, says MIT biologist Nancy Hopkins, who chaired a 1999 committee on gender bias and who signed the 30 June letter. “Regardless of the specifics of this case, this shows exactly why it is challenging to hire outstanding women at MIT,” says Hopkins.

Karpova says she is “very much upset” over the publicity. “I am trying to move on with my life, to get back to doing science,” she says.”

Emphasis is mine.  We have a more solid assertion of the content of Tonegawa’s e-mails were hostile in apparent tone (if e-mail can have tone).  Our very own UC has reported these same conclusions, and we have a quote from one of the original 11 signers of the letter of complaint. Finally we have a new quote from Dr. Karpova, essentially trying to not let this incident become a spot on her career, even though she didn’t even do anything wrong.  This has been your science policy update.  Is it too much to ask the Science write for one little typo?  Susemu, anyone?