The luscious, juicy, pleasant floral, and incomparable fartymelon. I note for our melon aficianados and tres stupide emus that this wonderfully tasty melon is distinct from yucky sock melon and gross fart melon. Republic of Dogs is your place for fart melon bloggo. This melon tastes quite delicious to the taste buds in your mouth.
My cheffy pants got all agitated and aflutter when I reaped the natural wisdom bestowed by this fartfruit, leading me to ponder its serving possibilities.
I decided I needed to plan a wonderfully tasty menu for the Veep, or Rummy, or Qu’emu/Edgar Winteresque idiot bloggers, or Vox Day should they ever shade my door with their looming beaver heads (the latter).
First course, breakfast for a day of clearing brush: Huge, heaping, crunchymunchy bowls of Capt. Crunch/or Crunchberries, not too much milk, served with a slotted serving spoon, extra large (it’s trendy, they do it in Japan).
Second course, lunchabuncha: Some crusty Freedom bread, super crustypants, for that hearty taste, maybe a slice of hard cheese. This is manly food for manly men.
Third course, appetizero: A nice bruschetta. Some extra toasted crostini with tomatoes and basil (just any old tomatoes from the grocery store, preferable New England in January). Maybe some extra triangular chips and unfortunately limey pico de gallo made with same tomatoes.
Fourth course: Salad, a strong and tart viniagrette over some sharp leafy baby spinach. With homemade, yumstery seasoned, honkin croutons.
Fifth course: Piping, molten, delicious french bread pizzas, with spicy tomato sauces and sauce. Yummy!
Sixth course: An extensive tasting course of impossibly dark and bitter luxury chocolate, possibly in Smore form, oh we only have these extra large graham crackers, and we must share two mini-mallows between us. Ow, don’t burn ourselves the chocolate is so hot and impossibly dark, what bitterness! We will perservere!
Seventh course: Since it is possible that the roofs of our mouths might desire some cool, delicious melon, here we have it. The melon from above. What a nice day it is out here in the deserted desert. No one around. Just a tiny little backpacker shovel to trowel up the hardpan should nature’s needs need naturing. Not that this delightful menu could even begin to repay these heros for the smiting they have given America’s great colon, but if you have a dream your dream needs to start somewhere, possibly with some impossibly dark chocolate.