Monthly Archive for December, 2006



Clif Doesn’t Know It

but he’s having a contest. Please go to this post and make his comment ticker ping like Jonah Goldberg wearing floaties on a submarine sonar display. Of course, Clif is asking for ever more implausible and hyperbolic ways to save the Earth from global warming. I can’t think of anything more implausible or hyperbolic than we are, so please demonstrate as much in comments. Brando, aif and teh l4m3 have already been there.


Flames. Flames on the side of my face.

Three Bulls! mega-contest! Althouse or Altmouse?

“For someone who prides herself on her writing, you sure create a lot of confusion.”

Ha. To say that is to show that you don’t get this blog. I use rhetorical devices intended to engage the reader’s mind. If you jump without thinking, you are missing the point. You have to think here. It may often seem simple, and you may think you know what is being said, but that is a trap for the unwary. I’m starting a discussion here, often with questions and elision. If you think I’m just sledgehammering opinions like your typical partisan political blogger, you will stumble endlessly here.

Winter Quilt

So, after enduring the Worst. Cover. Ever. (Warning: Very Dangerous. Here’s a very small link so you don’t click it accidentally —> ) I thought maybe people might like to make suggestions for best cover song.

Continue reading ‘Winter Quilt’

Bah, humbug?

I have a video present for 3B readers, or perhaps an anti-present, or perhaps a weapon of Mass Holiday Destruction.

It is below the fold.

It is not work, friend, family, child, pet, phylogenetically confused organism, or Cthuloid fungus safe.

If you are not Canadian, you may want to give any Canadians you care about a chance to get to a safe distance away from you. Then again, you may not.

If you are Canadian, well…

If you are an AC/DC fan, RUN AWAY. I MEAN IT.

If you have an inkling of fondness for AC/DC, large amounts of lead shielding MIGHT save you.

This is your last chance to turn back. Won’t you think of the children?

Continue reading ‘Bah, humbug?’

Ho Ho Hos!

We begin our war with:

Everything in its right place, no chump*ss Stankees on this holiday tree (for UC).


Top tree with secular, yet appropriate items (no, not a huge ham).


Provide a scene of contentment and repose (squee).


Provide a scene of reality and ice cream shenanigans (for BG).


And o’ course, visions of sugarplums, the hoofing variety!


Happy secular and Cookie Jesus X-mas to any and all the Three B fam! Stay safe and keep the suckas off your block.

Light Blogging Over…

….the holidays! Ha ha! I kill myself!

Really the coherence required for anything resembling a post has been lacking pretty much forever so this is just a little random toe dipper of a post to tide you over until the new year. Happy holidays to everyone and a special shout out to PupH! I wish we were cuddling on the couch together right now little guy, it’s just so durn sad…I too am hungry dang it all….

1) Mangoes are the new crack – $1.50 one day and then $5.00 the next – WTH?
2) The Morepork must haunt the dreams of my porkatarian friends. Its name is well earned.
3) Have you ever seen the bandoneon extended to its full length during unconsciously passionate tango? Puts Chuckles to shame that’s for sure. Listen to Astor Piazzolla.
4) This album is fantastic. One dude many tablas!!!!
5) I love Spanish women and they love me.
6) Ethiopian, Eritrean, and Somalian cobags just need to knock it off. The last thing you need is more misery.
7) The ‘Wind Up Bird Chronicle’, as I’ve mentioned several times before, is fantastic. ‘Norwegian Wood’ is also incredible, a much easier read, and has some pretty hot sex scenes. Don’t read too many Murakami books in succession. You’ll go crazy.
8) Geek Love is ****** up but great.
9) I think about ‘Down and Out in Paris and London’ all the time.
10) Billy Childish is a fine artist. Look here and here.
11) Joni Mitchell is a genius. Listen to Court and Spark, Hejira and Blue – all the rest are great too.
12) The Congoes by The Congoes is magical reggae.
13) Chris Ware’s ‘Jimmy Corrigan, The Smartest Kid on Earth’ damaged me for a while. I detested that series when it was published in the local weekly but after browsing through the compilation, while at a local bookstore, I was so taken with the beautiful graphics and drawings that I couldn’t resist buying it. It’s an amazing, amazing, amazing book.
14) If you’ve never listened to the Roches you should.
15) If you can find Fela Kuti’s collaboration with Ginger Baker buy it.
16) Lee Scratch Perry is a genius too. Pretty much everything he touches turns to gold.
17) I saw Zakir Hussain with Ravi Shankar a decade ago. It was a joy to watch a man so completely blissed-out during a performance.
18) Can you get any more bad a** than Charles Mingus or Miles Davis? I’m not smart enough to talk about jazz but “The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady” and “Bitches Brew” send chills down my spine. Those two albums are just the scratches on the proverbial shimmering surface.
19) If you like to trip, a verboten topic on this here blogaroo, you should listen to Alice Coltrane’s “Journey in Satchidananda” and Pharoah Sanders’ “Karma” (The Creator has a Master Plan…yummy).
20) Ethiopiques Volume 4, I heard it everywhere and had no idea what it was or where it came from. It haunted me until I discovered its name.
21) I think that I’d enjoy hanging out with David Bowie.
22) These characters may or may not grow on you. But one thing is for sure, you have to be in the right mood. If you like them, undoubtedly whomever it is that you share your life with will detest them.
23) I wish that I could make that Marge Simpson “mmmm” noise with its infinite meaning.
24) Dead Moon is a great live band plus they’re really old!
25) If you’re like me you probably haven’t listened to REM’s Murmur in a long time. Too bad because it still sounds great. Also you need to start listening to X again.
26) The Apu Trilogy by Satyajit Ray is beautifully shot and the story is just devastating. Ravi Shankar’s score is brilliant too.

Why do you guys hate us?

So the P-fork is not your thing, how come no one is frolicking and HELPING US COME UP WITH PUNS ON MEH???

Let me blow some on you sad sacks.

This post! It reminds me of a song by Van Halen…Pana-meh!

Pitchforke Cobaggery Watch Volume Infinity (B)

And we continue! Just a note: OK means OK. Meh means meh. Neither category reflects well on Ye Olde Pitchforke Cobagges. We continue with our thesis that no one has a greater distance between their actual readers and the readers they perceive in their feverish minds. Most likely they perceive their readers to be themselves. Oh wait, this is same in most media.

Here is a little hint for Time magazine. Let x=your readership. Consider the difference 300 million-x. 300 million-x >>>>> x.

Continue reading ‘Pitchforke Cobaggery Watch Volume Infinity (B)’

Part B of Infinity Comma Pitchfork Coming Up

Also, in this or an alternate universe plover writes 10 or 1000 words about Time’s Person of the Year and manages to insult both Time magazine and this year’s honorees. Gregor checks in from New Zealand to state that he’s never heard of any band, then drops a top 10 list of bands I’ve never heard of.

For now, though:

Squirrel eating ice cream.