Monthly Archive for April, 2007

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Possible Swag

Jennifer the Super Awesome sends us this:


We originally were thinking something different, but now we realize the possibilities are endless. Any New Yorker-style captions come to mind? IN COMMENTS PLEASE. Three Bulls puts the hoi in polloi, so I know we can out-cryptic those elite bastards.

Kathleen continues to fight off the swagwagon, but we will publicly design swag using a community oriented Web 3.0 platform using a keyboard screen text interface, with off the shelf brainpower.


Watching a bunch of total choads trip over themselves to excuse Don Imus puts me off my soda crackers. I think the interesting comparison here would be that the only thing beyond the pale in our society is making Jesus, who some religions assert that they physically eat every week, even more delicious in the form of chocolate art. To extend our metaphor around the workings of the mother church, Mr. Imus is maintained a member in good standing in full communion in light of his remarks because well, everybody is a bunch of pals. It is like if he gets fired they somehow still can’t have him over (like they ever do?)? Even if Imus is a really good guy deep down, he’s made his money, he can be a good guy on his personal chumpwagon. Guess what, super geniuses, if you or any of your staff ever, under any circumstances think it is OK to use the term “jiggaboo,” then it is time for you to go f*** yourself, and perhaps you can still be pals with your *sshole friends, spend more time with your family, devote your retirement to charity, and most importantly, get the **** off the radio.

Res Publica can get a free eff bomb in comments, I would like him to dismiss this oh so relentlessly degrading noise with palpable firmness.

: Read the Howler, and do it daily. At first you think he’s repeating himself, then you realize the world is on repeat, and these racist chumming nutwipes might get bored again and try to put yet another criminal in the White House.

Wah wah! We achieve a rhetorical miracle!

Arguments concerning hypocrisy, or various other similarly defined spellings/notions, are always troubling, because they seem to be designed around a certain individual’s advocacy of some point rather than the point itself. Some of the arguments are quite useful, however when they undermine the stated necessity or urgency of the advocate’s point (i.e. if someone says “I don’t have any pants on! Somebody put some pants on me!” when this person owns several pants factories and is currently fighting moon zombies with a pants cannon that shoots pants (WOW!) might mean that this person might not be able to be taken seriously RE: their pantslessness; also isn’t it common knowledge that pants cannons, they do nothing against moon zombies?). I digress. Continue reading ‘Wah wah! We achieve a rhetorical miracle!’

Kathleen Wins Swag

Noted 3B tenured commenter and all around internet gadfly Kathleen has prevailed in one of our contests. K wins something from our shoppe. She can even custom order something by asking for whatever design on whatever item and we will make it happen, or even asking for 20 bucks to iTunes, but that would kind of make us sad as we can’t even give away our swag. Just contacto us at the 3B house e-mail (3bulls at gmailio). Also, there is the possibility for some specifically contest themed swag in the future, which as you may be aware, is always in motion. Let us praise everyone involved, I think there was some reasonable realcsimiles of Second Life laughter to be had in our little analog first life for the duration of that thread. Bravo everyone!

Single-Handedly Driving Down Our Readership Post by Post!

Man I love this clip, not only because Dylan could be such a pr**k but because Donovan can do nothing but smile.

And then there’s this! Everything from the 2′-40″ mark is sublime lostness, percussive playing, mouth agape, bling and sweat, especially that last drop off the chin at the very end. Add this to the regrets of my life. This made me cry the third time I watched it.

Got a Bit of Pinko Punko Sitch Here

It seems that my house guest for the Easter weekend, Billy the C*T, decided to bring in the tiniest blackest cutest little mouse evah for a wee little play. Of course, having no stomach for violence, I had to put an end to it all. And also of course there’s now a mouse loose in the house, lurking somewhere…..

MegaUPDATE – Jexter has two new posts up on his new-found Republicanism. Fafblog is still broken.

Three Bulls Laboratory for the Study of Emuitis

Three Bulls! Labs have been working night and day to understand this problem! And while our findings are preliminary we felt that it was imperative to publish our data. One look at the graph below and you’ll understand why! Both the frequency and the intensity of Ann Althouse’s kerfuffles have been increasing. We shudder to think what the future has in store for the blogosphere if our predictions are true. Time to move to higher ground and to pray that Ann Althouse never picks a fight with Dolly Parton or Charo. Cuchi-Cuchi!


Kerfuffle Intensity = tnpf x [sin (I x t2)+BS/36)]

KI = Kerfuffle Intensity (megaemus/hectare)
t= Time (months)
npf = Nonpartisanship Factor (unitless)A
I = indignation index (howdaretheydotheyknowwhoIamians!!!1!)B
BS = *ahem* well you know….bra size of Ann Althouse’s Kerfuffle Opponent (inches)


A) Of course!

B) We believe that this is related to the following factors: 1) latte consumption prior to posting; 2) alcohol consumption prior to posting; 3) blog traffic of kerfuffle opponent; 4) number of commenters that must be told they are stupid, partisan, illiterate or all three; 4) links by Lawyers, Guns and Money or Whiskey Fire, Alicublog, Altmouse et al, 5) lack of links from Andrew Sullivan, 6) the difficulty of blaming the whole stupid episode on Clinton or Glenn Greenwald; 7) the difficulty of mental gymnastics required to excuse Ann Althouse’s comments/post. Due to the complexity of this factor we have only been able to measure this empirically.

Dog’s Out of the Bage

Padraig Escapes to Éire
Martin Doyle, Padraig Escapes to Éire, From the Mystery Art Bage


“DidImentionthat GFoH is away on a secret mission? A mission of ;liberation as opposed tothe mission of libation that I’m on now? A mission that I suspect Kitty Kattwood knows all but is too =canny to reveal!!1!Can Ijust droptahintthat AcertainLIttleGuymay be joinginginging ussoon?! ‘nough said! You cannotstop us!~!!!!!!1!!!!!!”

– Gregor Samsa
Continue reading ‘Dog’s Out of the Bage’

Concussion Safety Zone

This is were I live. Falling asleep is not a problem. I know I will be accused of hearing the beeping of my own guilty mecha-heart, however I dismiss these theories for the more mundane one of CRAZY F***ING NEIGHBOR WITH THE THING THAT BEEPS ALL NIGHT LONG. I must demure from the contest winner announcementpants. I will leak to the press that Kathleen has won, and serious swag will be had by her. I am too agitated by this new menace to focus on anything right now. Of course, once I complain, I will be told that it is a very important health monitor beeping that either keeps zombies at bay from devouring an unseen and unheard baby’s brain, or keeps some grammy’s heart beating in a time appropriate for continued life. Which certainly will be unplugged, and then guilt will really be keeping me up at night. At least guilt doesn’t beep. Ii reminds me of our gigantic purple absentee RA Trek, who didn’t really live on our hall. His alarm clock did, and he didn’t wake up at 7 every morning inside his locked, empty room. Purple Trek was also a very heavy sleeper (or maybe a very light sleeper several miles away). Either way, he tried to overcome his inability to wake up when not present by having his alarm go off at full volume for an hour every morning starting at 7, presumably so he couldn’t make the 8 am class he was skipping.


It has come to my attention that I know how to get back onto our server now. What this means is that if you have lovingly created an amazing and artful 3B header and sent it to me and it is NOT in rotation, you can send it to me again. But first, I will announce that I will announce the winner of the Condiment Carnage Contest anon. I will also announce that I am wondering if we should have ANOTHER header contest, as you guys are endless fountains of material for those with creative streaks. Please vote on whether we should have another header contest in comments. And whatever anyone does, please just vote YES I WANT A 3B HEADER CONTEST!!!!!!!11!!