Monthly Archive for June, 2007

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The Three Rules in Conservapedia Trolling, Rule One: Do not talk about Icewedge

From Gavin, we learned that Conservapedia is allowing new accounts to foster truthiness in Wiki form.  Something tells me that some very silly people are not taking Conservapedia seriously. plover and I went through Conservapedia User names and were laughing our heads off, we noticed some themes emerging in username choices- here is our edited chat: (some filthy language is included, be warned) Continue reading ‘The Three Rules in Conservapedia Trolling, Rule One: Do not talk about Icewedge’

Teh Booxxor of Joob

UPDATED BELOW!

[O hai! Gregr Samza wonderd if going to has lolcat bibel tranzlation n this iz what happend. Kthxbye.]

Gh0d: Joob is da bomb!

5atan: Is not.

Gh0d: Is so.

5atan: Is not.

Gh0d: Uh huh. Jes watch.

*BOOP*

5atan: I’m in ur base killin ur d00dz.

Joob: Oh n0es!!! Mah kidz n camlz!! O mah achin shizzle!! Whaddup Gh0d??!?!?

M3snjer: O hai, ur bukkit was eated bi an erthqwake!

Joob: Not mah bukkit too!!1!!! Oh n0es!!!

Joob: O wel, Gh0d sez no can has cheezbrrger. But I missedes mah bukkit.

Bild00d: LOL sux 2 B yu.

Anyhoo: O rly? Gh0d can’t has suxxorz.

Gh0d: O hai, I can has wurlitzer. Hav yu seen mah othtritches n Booheemuth?

Joob: O yu needs mah bukkit 4 teh Booheemuth. I can sooo repentin.

*BOOP*

Joob: OMG!! I can has cheezbrrger n kidz n camlz agen!!!

Joob: N mah bukkit!!!1!!

Joob: W00T!!!!!!!!one!!!!!! ^^;

UPDATE I: From Brando, in comments, and it seems LOLCAT is getting more l33t, or maybe txty, and certainly more filthy!:

Day-vid: im on mai roof, watchin u scrub urself. U r hot.

Bath5eeba: creepy. i haz husband. he iz hittite.

Day-vid: wut iz hittite?

Bath5eeba: not shur. but he iz 1.

Day-vid: w/e. he haz 2 fite 2day.

Bath5eeba: oh noes!

Day-vid: sry.

Day-vid: J0ab, send Yooraiuh 2 teh front. put him in teh base, but let teh d00ds kill him.

J0ab: wtf?

Day-vid: r u teh king of Izrail?

J0ab: noes

Day-vid: then stfu and send Yooraiuh 2 teh front, bitch!

J0ab: ok, l8terz.

J0ab: Yooraiuh haz no more lifes. he iz ded.

Day-vid: kewl. its good 2 be teh king. get me Bath5eeba. we r going 2 do it.

Gh0d: Day-vid! u iz wikedz.

Day-vid: wikedz good?

Gh0d: wikedz bad! im in ur hous, killin ur kid.

Day-vid: oh noes! not mai kid! iz not hiz falt.

Gh0D: talk 2 teh hand of Gh0D, cuz teh hed iznt listens.

Day-vid: wut if i haz no cheezburger 4 week? will u spair my boi?

Gh0D: maybe. hahahaha j/k. ur boi iz ded. pwnned!!!1

Day-vid: im nashin mai teef. but u iz teh lord, so i can do nuffin. sux 2 be me.

Gh0d: ok, im dun wif u. u can haz sex wif B and haz nother boi. he will be real smartz.

Day-vid: ty. can i haz cheezburger and kingdom of ammon, 2?

Gh0D: sur. l8ter.

UPDATE AGAINS! U can has commandmints!

HOLY CRAPOTRON 2000- HEADER CONTEST FOR REAL!

Wow, since we found out that all last week was a beautiful dream, the time has finally come to vote for headers in our contest, the winner shall receive a limited edition swag from our collection that has been discussed in rumors on the internet not to be confirmed.

Here’s how the voting works: you can vote for as many or as few as you want, BUT the points follow a very strict scheme- no ties, an first place gets 19 points, 2nd place gets 18 points, 3rd place gets 17 points, etc. Meaning no entries can get the same amount of points if they are voted upon, and points for each place are prescribed. If you happen to vote incorrectly, your e-mail will be used by me as contact information for the Jehoove-ah’s Møøses Witness.

Entries below, vote in THIS thread. Good luck, and thanks to all the full-assed efforting in our contest. If we get more than 30 votes in the contest, a random voter will also win some swagz0rs. Continue reading ‘HOLY CRAPOTRON 2000- HEADER CONTEST FOR REAL!’

I CAN HAS

PORGRAMMING LANGWIDGE?

(I suspect Gregor Samsa is now doomed to wander around saying “O HAI” and giggling for several more days.)

For a linguist’s take on lolcatz in ur pooter porgramz, see Linguistic Mystic.

Proof Positive

Hmmmm! Continue reading ‘Proof Positive’

Moulderin’

As you may have noticed, a 3B can become discolored and fuzzy when left in a damp place.

neurospora-mold-frost-variant.jpg

Header contests become shriveled and spotty. Cashewy nut logs acquire a fibrous texture. Even the characteristic 3B *BOOP* evinces a distinctly unfrito-y odor.

Such is the scourge of møld.

Continue reading ‘Moulderin’’

Issues I have a few

But beans I have a many.

Beanstravaganza 2007

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

A little song I sing to myself, it goes som’m som’m likey this:

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
I can’t hear you
wakka wakka
I can’t hear your stupid
wakka wakka
I can’t smell your stupid
wakka wakka
unfortunately for me and my tongue, I can taste your stupid
wakka wakka
I has a flavor

*BOOP* game over tha remix.

I just wanna put the 3B Neighborhood on a hug timer because I really do love you guys, even though every story I tell Geenie C from the bloggo she thinks someone is just making it up. She gives it the skeptical eyeball. True story.

Memo to World RE:Internet

The same people you can’t stand in your daily life, whether it be their inane conversations in the checkout line, their bad, inconsiderate driving, their eating of the macaroons, these people are also the same people you meet on the internet. Except that everyone views the internet as an excuse to really crap on each other without the socialized fear of uncomfortable confrontation/interaction.

Next time you are about to tell someone to go eff themselves because of their inconsiderate choadery, remember to dial back the narcissism and sociopathological lack of empathy just a titch, and ask them to “please” go eff themselves.

Oh hai. Im in ur intertoobz predictin ur trainwrecks.

We now return to teh l4m3‘s regularly scheduled program.

New Service! 3B Provides lolcat Passive Aggressive Notes for Work in the Sciences, etc.

Chunderhøsens the world over deserve some serious passive aggressive smackdown. We’d like to raise the bar. The ever ubiquitous “lolcat.” Hilarious when done properly, cashewy nut log when not. I’ve been noticing lately that our window of creativity is closing because a reactionary lolcat orthodoxy is enforcing actual rules for the composition of said visual tchotchkes. We simultaneously denounce this practice while proposing that passive aggressive lolcats be accepted by the lolcat community.

Think about putting these awesome notes to pictures! Anyhow, it is either these notes or murder.

lab.jpg

Chime in with yours in comments.