Monthly Archive for July, 2007

I got nothing

Had a bunch of meh about various crazies wandering around cobagging it up, but pretty boring. Some dirtballs letting their dog toast up in their car while at Costco (dog was OK, but the entire conceit of timing it before Fido broasts is sickening). Also saw this movie Shooter, an OK actioner as they say in the biz, but Ned Beatty was in it hamming up a thinly veiled Cheney impression. You might say he gets his in the end, but it still wasn’t Deliverance. I challenge the Rude Pundit for a version of that movie starring Dick Cheney. Criss cross!

Turkish delight

FeedingBarnacle.jpg

Darwin’s claims were of course based on no scientific evidence or findings.

Harun Yahya (pen name of Adnan Oktar)

Of course.

Harun Yahya is this Turkish Muslim creationist dude who recently sent tens of thousands of copies of his book Atlas of Creation to various biology labs and professors throughout America. This might be less notable except for the fact the book is 800 pages, full of illustrations, and printed on glossy paper. The sheer amount of money that must have been expended printing and shipping this thing is rather staggering.

UPDATE! PP Adds, for PZ, who didn’t get any Oktar love!:

Adnan_Oktar1.jpg

Adnan_Oktar2.jpg

Continue reading ‘Turkish delight’

Jus Some Stuffs

More controversy a la Brownback. I wonder if Senator Wonder Boy is gonna backdown from the YouTube debate like the RINOs? Also, this is the laziest article I have ever read. Listen, if you want to talk about blog “parodies” causing problems or “clouding messages” pick up the phone on your desk and get someone’s/ANYONE’S comment besides some Prof. at BYU. How about Senator Brownback’s campaign manager? Or maybe his internet director? Or maybe Psycheout, or Sisyphus. Make them go on record with their “no comments” or their “denials” or their admittance of satire. Don’t just squirt out a bunch of column inches of navel gazing. Sheesh, are you angling for a spot on “Reliable Sources”?

plover adds:

The mind boggles imagining the back stories (both legislative and personal) for this comment from the Denver Post piece:

Brownback sponsored [the International Marriage Relations Act] that regulates (PREVENTS) marriage by requiring a series of background checks before an American can marry a foreigner within the boundaries of the United States and aditional background checks before they can communicate if they use an matchmaking organization.

Brownback’s romance law was patterned after a 1935 German law which required background checks before two people can marry supposedly to protect German women. But the real purpose of the German law was to prevent Jews from marying German women while Brownback’s sinister law was developed in secret by radical women’s groups to “sabotage American men from marrying foreign women with traditional values that the radical folks at the National Organization of Women abhor.

Pitchfork or Worse Record Store Clerk

I admit this concocted human is more derived from my insecurities created and marketed by Yee Olde Pitchforckian Cobaggerye than actual experiences (in most cases). For example my recent experience with the record store clerk yielded a possibly stoned and distant cashier, nothing more. However the fictional responses below are so obviously what certain chundernozzles actually think while processing your purchases.

Your purchases:

A. The Shins-Wincing the Night Away

Munchloaf thinks: “Oooh, three stars- People Magazine! You insufferable turd. Let me encourage your pathetic and overly dramatic suicide.”

B. The Strokes-First Impressions of Earth

Munchloaf thinks: “I’m surprised your not buying this with a Camaro-themed Capital One Visa. Most likely maxed out with a Celebrity Cruise and chat-line charges.”

C. Genesis-The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway

Munchloaf thinks: “You live inside a gigantic fruit-shaped bong. You should be segregated from society and composted.”

D. Suicide-Suicide

Munchloaf thinks: “Nice try, poseur. There is nothing you can buy in this record store that will earn my respect. The fact that you even shop here suggests you are not fit to feed and clothe yourself. As does your spittle-flecked Charlie Brown shirt.”

E. Berube and the Pomos-Album

Munchloaf thinks: “This album is created by the listener, and by definition is therefore execrable. This album should be destroyed in a gigantic nuclear fireball like the One Ring in Mount Doom. I only read those books to disdainfully hit and run dorkwagon chatrooms. What of it?”

F. Arcade Fire-Neon Bible

Munchloaf thinks: “You despicable emo cipher. I can’t look at you for another second.”

G. Black Rebel Motorcyle Club-Baby 81

Munchloaf thinks: “Wow. This could constitute a painfully awkward midlife crisis. Thievery Corporation is on sale- why not go for the gold?”

H. Boredoms-Unearthed original acetate of unreleased lost track with original members.

Munchloaf thinks: “Too spaz-core. Just kidding. Pretty cool.”

I. Boredoms-Unreleased track from future, obtained through use of alien time machine.

Muchloaf thinks: “Don’t you think they’ll be played out by then?”

UC adds, in comments:

Yeah, I just went through this myself at Newbury Comics.

My purchases:

A. The National – Boxer

Munchloaf thinks: You toad socket. You probably don’t even like this kind of music and will pretty much buy any album that Pitchfork lists as their Best of new music just to try to impress the dunce in your bay, who really is as much a tool as you are. Well, I hope you enjoy the 11 Visa points, because that’s the only value you’re getting out of this one.

B. Spoon – Ga ga ga ga ga

Munchloaf thinks: Ding ding ding. I probably would have respected you if you didn’t also buy Boxer. I hope the CD melts in your 1991 Yamaha piece-of-crap CD player.

C. Viva Voce – Get Yr Blood Sucked Out

Munchloaf thinks: Let me guess. You heard them open for The Shins and thought the singer was hot. Have you even heard a single song for their previous CDs? Are you just buying this to save face on your lame ass blog?

No brain — no effect

A couple of quotes I found on posted on dKos.

First, a commenter from Bill O’Reilly’s site discusses immigration:

Posted By: D. Morgan Saunders (2510 posts) 21 Jul 2007 – 3:22 PM PT
Reply: RE: The O’Reilly Factor (Fri 07/20) – Who’s looking out for John Doe?, Handling criminal aliens on the local level, more…

The Democrats Are Weak On Defense – The “Do Nothing Congress” – * And Moan – While Our Troops ( Our Loved Ones ) put their heart and soul on the line 24-7-365 – While our borders are wide open for more terrorists to join their brothers right here in our own back-yard – our Homeland! I certainly Agree – Until all these “Towel Heads” Stand-Up for America and Its Citizens – They Can All Go To Hell – And Get The Hell-Out-Of-Our-Country!! Thank “God” for Sean Hannity – Rush – Larry Kudlow – and Bill O’Reilly- for keeping America Great and Safe! Most of us are “Proud To Be American’s” We love our Freedom and Country! May God Continue To Bless America – Our President – Our Government – Its Citizens – AND OUR TROOPS!!

That thing deserves some kind of award solely on punctuation. I especially love the quotes around “God”.

And Newt — on his possibly condescending to grace us as President:

“If, in mid-October, it’s quite clear that one or more of the current candidates is strong enough to be a serious alternative to a Clinton-Obama ticket, you don’t need me to run,” the former House Speaker said at a breakfast sponsored by the American Spectator. “If it becomes patently obvious, as the morning paper points out, that the Democrats have raised a hundred million more than the Republicans, and at some point people decide we are going to get Hillary unless there’s a radical change, then there’s space for a candidate,” he added. “So you’ll know by mid-October one of those two futures is real.”

Asked by The Examiner if he was prepared to commit to a run, Gingrich said, “I’m perfectly happy to do what I do,” he said. “Whether that leads to the presidency is the country’s problem, not mine. …

Pressed by The Examiner about whether his political baggage renders him unelectable, Gingrich compared himself to a famous French statesman. “This is like going to De Gaulle when he was at Colombey-les-Deux-Eglises during the Fourth Republic and saying, ‘Don’t you want to rush in and join the pygmies?'” he said.

Gingrich/Sink Lettuce ’08!

At least I didn’t have breasts in front of Clinton!

Did Ann Althouse try to kill me this weekend? Crossing Cuba Street, in the sidewalk at Abel Smith, I was nearly run over by a ghostly apparition coasting through a stop sign in a silver Audi TT, latte in hand, jawing at me and giving me the stink eye for actually daring to exist on her road. Other clues, both the left and the right turn signals blinking simultaneously, and I can’t be sure but I think that she mouthed “learn to read” as she passed.

Why do I have a feeling that she’s pounding away at the keyboard accusing me of unbearable distress for almost dinging her sweet ride with my knees or worse yet with my rock-filled head?

Are mosquitos more real than chundermuffins?

??? left a long comment on whether it might be possible to discuss evolutionary processes without resort to metaphor. I decided to inflict my response on the front page of 3B rather than leave it in comments. And yeah, it’s pretty much as wonky as it sounds.
Continue reading ‘Are mosquitos more real than chundermuffins?’

Evolution drive

[Updated]

Warning: Biology wonkage, proceed at own risk

On the forum at Richard Dawkins’s site, I came across an exchange between Dawkins and a forum member describing “natural selection” as the “driving force of evolution”.

I’m bothered by this usage. For one thing, it seems like the kind of thing that can contribute to the rancorous debates in biology that sometimes strike me as more semantic than scientific. However, it is also possible that I’m not quite understanding what the intent of the phrasing is.

Continue reading ‘Evolution drive’

PP is OFF THE GRID

Until Sundae Sundae Sundae. The rips and quips you have come to enjoy will be back in the saddle soon. Some new features maybe in the works. Also, someone needs to buy Gregor a phone card, we’re gonna have him call Brownback’s campaign office once a week to have him ask your questions!

Also, if this latest claim of executive privilege is true, Congress needs to just walk out the door. They gotta shut down the government.

Dear Idiot

You leaked the entire Harry Potter book online. You bragged about it a couple of months ago. I look forward to your grassy *ss and the mowerish frenzy descending upon it. Have fun getting sued, chunderwipe.