Monthly Archive for August, 2007

It’s a Mystery!

I’m not sure what this post has to do with Barack Obama or Dick Cheney, nor does it relate to Michael Vick or his ongoing legal troubles. I think it has almost nothing to do with Rachel Ray! I think what it has to do with is the mysterious cabal of goat f***ers at University Update! I have no proof of this, but several very goat-f****r like disturbances in the Force clearly indicate to me that University Update may in fact blow goats. WEIRD!

Our Platform-An Occasional Series

It recently bestruck myself that once elected, our public will not have previously known our platform for our future rule. Some aspects include:

1) We will have Dibs.

2) Since our administration will be traveling at light speed, Bacon of the Month will happen EVERY DAY, except we will not age.

3) In the spirit of bipartisanship, we will appoint in a Recess Appointment, Dick Cheney as ambossador to the Giant Space Void. Should Ambossador Cheney desire to foment a beer hall putsch amongst the nothingness and rule the endless vacuum with an iron fist, this is not our affair. He can take it up with the infrequently passing-through neutrino, should be able to interact with it. I wish him well. God bless!

A maze of twisty little tubes

You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully to the south.

There is a blog here.

> get blog

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

> get blog

Are you sure? I know what happens. You should leave well enough alone.

> get blog

Continue reading ‘A maze of twisty little tubes’

Oh Noes, we’ve been Simpsonized™!!!!

SUPER DUPER UPDATES BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Three Bulls! ran into an unfortunate encounter with this website.
I don’t know how I ended up at the Kwik-e-mart, but that’s a good price on expired møø$e.

uc-simpson.jpg
They got Pinko Punko at his workplace. I didn’t know they let døgs in the lab.

pp-simpsons.jpg

Who’s next to be Simpsonized? Gregor? Yosef? Plover? When will the madness stop?

PP UPDATE!!! The generator was very tetrapodistic, sadly. We have a slight change:

pp-simpsons-1.jpg

Gregor Adds!!! We also have a slight change:
Pinko PunkoTrackies!!!!

UC SUPER UPDATE:  Even AG can’t escape the Simpsonzer112!!!111

ag-simpsons.jpg

When You Go Pro

You might end up playing for a team like The Atlantic Five Flavor Life Savers. I mean a big whatev for Matty Y, but at what point do you kind of have to start playing ball or acting like a good teammate? I allude of course to our continuing big media nightmare where total choadwagons get splashy platforms for their ridiculous, squeaky-on-the-inside baltherings. I know Op-Ed pages carry different voices, voices that most likely loathe one another, like Krugman and David Brooks at the Times, and everyone and Tom Friedman, but Op-Ed pages are not conversations, and are not designed around a back-and-forth linky dink. When does Matty Y. become Alan Colmes? Because, even if you think you are cherry, when the other flavors in the pack are shit sandwich, sink lettuce, fart melon, and in melon packs, sock melon, what flavor are you really?

Clif and teh Sadlies will keep us up to date on the sitchy sitch.

Oh No He Didn’t

Oh yes he did!

Squee it, don’t wee it, cobags.

plover adds:

How did Pinko miss this?

No doubt he’ll be all Excuses McScuseypants, but the bells will still ring “nø nø nø nø nø nø…

Gregor adds:

Behold Wetazilla! I predict a world-wide shortage on S…Q….U….and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Wetazilla!!!1!!!

Gregg Easterbrook Picks a Winner

greggo.jpg

Michael Vick! Our resident multiple threat ultra genius makes run-of-the-mill cobags look like successful Poincare conjecturists with statements like this:
Continue reading ‘Gregg Easterbrook Picks a Winner’

A Totally Ludicrous

separated a birth, maybe only teh l4m3 will see the resemblo-

toomean.jpg

What, too mean???

Whatever

I don’t mean to be a frostypants mcgoo about the wishful triumphalism over Rover cashing in his chips, but just because his stated goal of creating a Republican dictatorship wasn’t met, the fact that he got a lot closer than any other human in our country’s modern existence seems like we’re moving the goalposts a little bit. Were there any direct consequences of Bushco allowing New Orleans to be detroyed? Are we still torturing people? Has Rover not enriched a generations worth of cronies? Do those cronies not essentially control our media? Are our courts not stocked with reactionary boobs in place to cover the continued existence of stated cronies? Has our government not hemorrhaged money to defense and corporate scammos, these of course on the margins of the biggest scam ever perpetrated on the drugged American public, our Iraqi advanture? Has the future flexibility and fiscal health of government to accomplish any goals for the sake of normal citizens not been mortgaged, leaving aside the gutting of any career official competence throughout the shell of the Federal Government? I’ll be happy when Rovewad is publicly humiliated and his entire circle forced to live in the abject poverty they’d so happily thrust anyone and everyone into. Personal choice!

Anyway, more importantly, I love it when Res fires up Powerpoint!

Jesus H.

I understand that CNN thinks that an interesting characteristic of this pervatron is that he has blogged about his predilection for being a pervatron, but is that the defining characteristic of this individual for a headline???

Picture 1.png

On their own website they have an alternate headline for the video story that reads more appropriately:

Picture 2.png

In this case you could argue that the “blog” aspect relates to the story, but I think we know what is going on here. If you express yourself on the internet, you are automatically a stereotype for the sausage factory.