Monthly Archive for February, 2008

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PODCATS STUPID LOOSERS

YES YOU HEARD ME CHOADS. I HAVE HONORED JONAH GOLDBERG WITH A SPOKEN WORD PREFOMRMANCE/PODCATS OF HIS DEEPLY MOVING AND WISE WORDS REGARDING HIS CRITICS. I ALSO CONTINUE TO SMACK DOWN STUPID SLAPPERS WITH THE CONSTANT CHIRP OF CRICKETS THAT I HEAR IN MY EAR REGARDING THEIR NON-RESPONSE TO MY BATTLE RAPPING THEIR ASSES BACK TO THE STONED AGE.

AUDIO PODCATS PLAYER

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ALTERNATIVELY:

PODCATS

AN OUTRAGE THAT WILL. NOT. STAND.

THE REVANCHIST UNREFROMED REBROBATE ANONMYMOUS INTERNET CHUMPSTAIN “PINKO PUNKO” TORSTEN FRINGS TO OUR ATTENTION THE PUREST AND MOST BASE FORM OF AZTLAN YET TO CROSS OUR POROUS UNGUARGED BORDERS. I HAVE NOT YET SEEN THIS AT HOT AIR BUT I EXPECT MICHELLE WILL BE ON THIS SOON. PLEASE JONAH STEP BACK FROM THE PRECIPICE. DO NOT TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE THEY WILL NEVER CORRUPT OUR SOULS THOUGH THEY SEEK TO CORRUPT OUR BODIES AND OUR HOLY FOODS!!!!!!!!213

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3B! Pledge Week

AS part of 3B pledge week, we’re gonna be hazing the crap out of everyone, even lurkers. Your first pledge duty as 3B pledge is to obtain some of this limited edition item, eat at least TWO of EACH FLAVOR, and leave an elaborate comment about how you currently feel. 3B is not responsible for any medical or health issues that may be caused by this crazy prank. I said even lurkers, so to 7-11 everyone goes! On the double! Comments in this thread!

WTF???? WOULD 3B COMMENTERS STOP COMMENTING ABOUT FERNANDO ALONSO

SERIOUSLY!!!! YOUR JOBS ARE TO COMMENT ON THREE BULLS! NOT SOME SHADY FERNANDO ALONSO FORUM. Is it MY fault that Renault is going to swizzle chunderdongs all season??????

Under Pressure

The execrable Captain Trollypants takes over the 3B web log space, trashes the place and then endures a perfect storm of links all over the web meaning the place is entirely overrun. This causes one to feel a certain pressure to toss gobbets of red meat to the clamoring hordes. One question is is it worth it? The link following frenzied browsers searching for one tiny item of entertainment are kind of like neutrinos, they pass through with little to no interaction, that is they are massless, while we are half-assless, so unless you construct Three Bulls! as the Super Kamiokande of blogofascism, what really is there to do?

Oh well, we’ll soldier along. Fish sends us an intriguing Delicious and Disgusting, while Snag takes us on a travel to the worlds møøses.

Word on the street is that the Captain will drop an unlistenable podcast of Jonah Goldberg readings in support of his hero. Hopefully he’ll forget his password or I will remember to change it before that.

OK, I Seriously F***Ed Up Delish and Disgust

I don’t know if I can fix it. I did something stupid, but Seitz will be happy in that I fixed the comment spam problem on Song of the Day.

Deep, unending frustration is my mood.

UPDATE: No more spam AND Delish or Disgust back up, but imagine my surprise to find myself in the middle of a usual chundercluster a la worko. H.A.T.E.

New Delicious or Disgusting

Here. Courtesy of Kathleen. Fishwagon has one on deck, and I got a gigantic pile dwarfed only by the pile that UC is holding out on you.

When I started our poor cousin blogs (see top of sidebar), I thought of them as community receptacles for information gained out and about in the world. They haven’t turned out that way, but please send me anything you’d think would be appropriate for Song of the Day, Celebrity Dream Cameo (your dreams featuring celebrities) or Delicious or Disgusting. 3bulls at gmail.

Or any battle raps.

Beginning: The Beginnining

Well, Capt. T finally did it. He peed into the wind while spitting and poking a turd and disturbing a hornet’s nest. The nest of a single, but very large hornet. A hornet that is friends with privileges with Airwolf.

Allows us to bring you some reviews:

Kudlow Koolidge says:

I’m still not quite sure what he meant with his whole “constipated” analogy. He should really continue to explain that for another 10 minutes or so.

Indeed. I’m told this was the radio edit.

Five of Diamonds raves:
J-

I’d prefer to meet the challenge in haiku:

Rapper Trollypants
His Fecal Fetishes Shine
Unfortunate Rap

That’s actually quality, although Trolly will bloviate about you don’t bring a haiku to a battle rap fight.

Moonbat Rising opines:

GET A BRAINS AT THE BRAINS STORE MORANS AND TRY TO LISTEN TO THIS BEFORE YOU TRY TO AND FAIL TO READ BECAUSE YOU DON:T KNOW HOW

Dude spells moron with an ‘A’, can’t figure out his plurals from his singles, then accuses me of not knowing how to read? WIngnutia becomes more like a parody every day.

I can’t decide if the level of genius of this comment exceeds or fails to meet my expectations. I suspect deep subtlety that will assuredly be lost on the Captain.

Hoosier X pipes:

The scariest thing about this?

That someone would expend this much energy defending Jonah Goldberg.

Pathetic. Sad, Disturbing.

Creepy.

Seriously creepy.

I bet he was rooting for Kurt Russell in “Death Proof.”

These slings and arrows, they do NOTHING to the Captain. The Captain has but one weakness! A FINELY TUNED BATTLE RAP. WE MUST DEFEND.

Also, is JoGo gonna give props for T-Pants dropping serious battle wax????

CAPTAIN TROLLYPANTS DEFECNDS JONAG GOLDBERG FROM STUPID THREE BULLS AND THERE STuPID BATTLE RAPS WITh AN AWESOME BATTLE RAP

THE WORLD IS GONNA EAT WHAT THE CAPTAIN HAS COOKING

I AM SO FRACKIN MAD AT THIS BLOG CONSTANTLY CRAPPING ON MY BRO, MY BRA JONAH G

GUESS WHO EATS IT???

FIRST OFF THREE FRACKING BULLS. PLOVER. UC. PINKO PUNKO. ALL FOUND AT ONE GODFORSAKEN PLACE, THREE BULLS- NO I”M NOT GOING TO LINK THEM. THIS WOULD MERELY BE WASTING TRAFFIC ON SWINE. I CAST NOT MY PEARLS.

ALSO, JONAH HATERS JUAN COLE, SADLY NO, THE EFITODEEDTIROS, SIFU TWEETY, DAVE NEIWERT AT ORC-ANUS, LIEBERAL CHOADS EZRA KLEIN, MATTHEW YGLESIAS, ATRIOS, BLOG HATERS UNFOGGED AND COUNTLESS OTHERS SLAPPERS LIKE JOHN STEWART

JONAH GOLDBERG HAS SUBCONSCIOUSLY ASKED ME TO RESPOND TO THIS CONSTANT GUM FLAPPING AND CLAPTRAPPING FROM THE LIBERAL BLOGOSPHERE ABOUT THINGS THEY ARE TOO SUPIDO TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE RUBBING TWO NEURONS TOGETHER ABOUT. HE HAS REMAINED ABOVE THE FRAY WHILE TASKING ME TO BATTLE RAP YOUR ASS LIKE IT HAS NEVER BEEN BATTLE RAPPED BEFORE. CONSIDER YOURSELF CAP’N SLAPPED CHUMPS

U R 3 BULLS

U R 3 BULLS
NAH NAH NAH NAH

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MY WORDS BELOW THE FOLD FOR THOSE TOO LAZY TO LISTEN TO MY GLORIOUS MP3 RIGHT ABOVE. I FORGOT TO RIP THE CRAP OUT OF OTHER LIBERAL STUFF LIKE CANADA, AND 3B COMMENTERS. GET A BRAINS AT THE BRAINS STORE MORANS AND TRY TO LISTEN TO THIS BEFORE YOU TRY TO AND FAIL TO READ BECAUSE YOU DON:T KNOW HOW

Continue reading ‘CAPTAIN TROLLYPANTS DEFECNDS JONAG GOLDBERG FROM STUPID THREE BULLS AND THERE STuPID BATTLE RAPS WITh AN AWESOME BATTLE RAP’

POST ABOUT FERNANDO ALONSO

Looks like the Canadian Curling ASSociation is stepping up to the bigs: Formula 1. Seriously, looking good, country of Spain. I cannot think of anything that makes the country that brought us Ibiza, running with the bulls, the pathetic Galacticos, and a petulant baby of a race car driver, better than fans of the world’s most boring sport, withstanding even cricket, than racist cobag fans of said “sport.” Seriously Fernando, you make ABBA want to kill themselves. You make Rafael Nadal look like a good sport. You make your World Cup Team look like overachievers. Bravo, choads! WANKER OF THE DAY.

Seriously click that link to see the picture.

5000 dollars please.