Monthly Archive for March, 2008

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By Nick

March 28, 2008 6:18 PM | Link to this

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! I’M COMMENTING ONLINE!

So some AJC chump writes an inane column, Fire Joe Morgan toasts it rightfully, then about 300 people descend upon he comment thread and fill it with unironic and ironic racism, a gigantic dollop of ageism, and just smackery all around. The above comment I think takes the gun cake.

I Actually Had

an important and thoughtful serious pants sort of situation where I was going to discuss in a certain amount of detail something that reflected on our current events. I cannot for the life of me remember what it was. I know it was depressing.

I was also going to launch a well deserved broadside at Fernando Alonso, total cobag, but I lost interest now that the big A sees fit to cover all the Formula One news. We don’t have an unoriginal bone in our body. We have several hundred.

I did find this Insider Pages review for Kathleen:

First hand knowledge of this 55yr old creep in action. Seen with my two own eyes. He is Married to a lady in N.J State. in-which he believes it is O.K to approach other women for a sexual relations. Seen kissing an employee and Married woman back of store. A scumbag that has been flirting with any and all whom he is in contact with. Is this a case for Sexual Harassment?

Billy Pilgrim has a guest post showing up soon at Song of the Day.

Chuck has a Celeb Dream Cameo in the works, and I have an Oprah one on deck, and a Clive Owen and Britney Spears.

Anything else? Oh yeah, Jim Rockford shoots down a plane. Check out the two inch cluster on these bulls

eyes. I think dEN loves Jim Rockford (he plays James Garner in real life) as much as I do.

Friday Night Vice

So in the opener for Season Two, Crock and Tuber basically kill half of NYC and there is less dialog in this two-parter than in 2001: A Space Oddysey. Also, Pam Grier and Gene Simmons. Musical cues included (bolded are the ones I actually noticed):

Billy Ocean, Caribbean Queen
Glenn Frey, You Belong To The City
Huey Lewis & The News, Do You Believe In Love
U2, Pride (In The Name Of Love)

Phil Collins, Take Me Home
Neville Brothers, Tell It Like It Is
The System, The Pleasure Seekers
Fashion, White Stuff
Bryan Ferry, Windswept
Joe Cocker, Many Rivers to Cross
Go-West, Goodbye Girl
Traffic, Glad
Lou Reed, Good Night, Ladies
Liquid, Liquid, Rubber Miro

Check out Penn Gillette here, with some nice 80′s obscure (I don’t even know if it is any of the above, I suspect the Debbie Harry song isn’t in the show, and this one is some song about a “Liar”:

Contractual obligation posting

We have recently received complaints that there has been no ombudsmøøse posting in quite some time.

This has now been rectified, and my wages confiscated in punishment.

Otherwise, given the lack of complaints (or even unfunny remarks) regarding the site, we are left at something of a loss as to what to include in this column. Fortunately, your humble omubdsorganism has a few words to say of his own. To wit:

1) We have, in the past, noted the lack of discussion on Song of the Day, Delicious or Disgusting and Celebrity Dream Cameo. It occurred to this writer that perhaps adding comments from those posts to the comment sidebar on the main page might make people more aware and receptive to the discussions going on at those subsites. We submit this suggestion for debate and feasibility of implementation by the php gnomes.

Also, your new neolgism of the day is: disgustamaliciously grossomaddictive. Use it wisely.

2) Related to the above, it appears that the awesomeness of the DorD has produced some competition, which smacks of pandering and sensationalism. I hereby recommend that we inititiate COBAGITATION ACTION to deal with this threat to 3Bulls, Inc. hegemony. Please add your suggestions in comments. Their peanut-butter-and-mangosteen-soda milkshake must be drunk! And rated!

3) We would like to reassure the readership that the recent disagreements between certain proprietors of this site will in now way affect the rigorous editorial standards maintained here. In fact, we find it heartening that the Nü Left is willing to give a platform to the small but vocal minority of cyborg-Libertarian-Americans. However dimished they may be in mass, they have made up for it in gravitas and money saved on tuxedo rentals.

Also, despite known silicon (note spelling before joking, please) sympathies the commentariat provided ample encouragement, suggestions, and self-deprecating humour. The ombudsory antlers are positively glowing with pride.

Any other business? Comments below or emailed to mendaciousd at gmail dot com, especially about how I’m late with this post. Have at it!

What is There To Say, Except that I’ve Got Nothing

Except a missing ombudspersonpants. I hope some ill-willing møøses are not playing the “Trouble With Harry” with his pickled and brineded body.

I also thought we were being hilarious until I noticed some Yelp-blogging at Unfogged. Yelp-blogging-stealing cobags.

In which plover takes out his/her/its/bird’s frustrations on fish, again, which he presumably still doesn’t deserve

In an earlier thread, fish made a comment in defense of the rhetoric that “there’s no difference between the Democrats and the Republicans”. In what follows, sections in italics come from that comment (and the addendum that follows it).

fish’s comment begins:

I know what you are saying about the “no difference” meme. I have held the position for a long time, but I think recent changes in the political climate are forcing me to soften that stance. There are a few points to make though that justifies that position more than I think you allow.

And later he notes, “the statement ‘there is no difference between the parties’ was more true pre Bush43.”

Given these retreats from a strong position, some of what follows may seem a bit of an over-reaction. However, this meme is a pet peeve of mine, and I hope fish will forgive me for jumping up and down on it a bit.

Continue reading ‘In which plover takes out his/her/its/bird’s frustrations on fish, again, which he presumably still doesn’t deserve’

BUBBLE TEA

BUBBLE TEA BUBBLE TEA

Kathleen and I have a special place in our hearts for the consumer review site Yelp. It is just so darned cute with the mini-meta novels that get typed concerning various food establishments etc.

K points me to this article concerning some Yelp quality.

K and I are going to have a running Yelp-Off. Here’s my first volley.

EWWW I HATE THIS PLACE. When u first walk in it smells like old plastic, they seat you then they just leave u there, the tables are sticky, so are their utensils which is one of my biggest pet peeves. And for the record, ive only eaten there 3 times and 3 out of the 3 times i have gotten out of the restaurant puking in the parking lot. Sorry, don’t mean to gross anyone out but i thought the third time was a charm and maybe id get over it. But i couldnt understand why everytime i ate nam vang i would yak. I came to the conclusion that the restaruant is not anything close to sanitary and thats why i had that allergic reaction

I suggest science was used! N=3, puke=3. 3/3=100% puke ratio. Thanks, Yelper!

Quotewagon

We’ve got some musical quotationery to go along with p-lover’s post below, and apropos to various sitches amongst the world, especially big B’s speech , and what the Rev. Wright could possibly be pissed off about.

First:

I love the lie and lie the love
A-Hangin’ on, with push and shove
Possession is the motivation
that is hangin’ up the God-damn nation
Looks like we always end up in a rut (everybody now!)
Tryin’ to make it real ? compared to what? C’mon baby!

Slaughterhouse is killin’ hogs
Twisted children killin’ frogs
Poor dumb rednecks rollin’ logs
Tired old lady kissin’ dogs
I hate the human love of that stinking mutt (I can’t use it!)
Try to make it real ? compared to what? C’mon baby now!

The President, he’s got his war
Folks don’t know just what it’s for
Nobody gives us rhyme or reason
Have one doubt, they call it treason
We’re chicken-feathers, all without one nut. God damn it!
Tryin’ to make it real ? compared to what? (Sock it to me)

Church on Sunday, sleep and nod
Tryin’ to duck the wrath of God
Preacher’s fillin’ us with fright
They all tryin’ to teach us what they think is right
They really got to be some kind of nut (I can’t use it!)
Tryin’ to make it real ? compared to what?

Where’s that bee and where’s that honey?
Where’s my God and where’s my money?
Unreal values, crass distortion
Unwed mothers need abortion
Kind of brings to mind ol’ young King Tut (He did it now)
Tried to make it real ? compared to what?!

(Music break)

Tryin’ to make it real ? compared to what?

That’s a hat tip to the pater. Following, we’ve got the seemingly ignored Smokey Robinson from Song of the Day the other day. I’d like to highlight it again here.

I had to transcribe the lyrics myself, so some are likely wrong.


Happy birthday, happy birthday to you
A few years ago on my birthday
I had just become 21
I remember
I had a lot to live
I had a lot to give
And a man comes to hand me a gun
And though that war he sent me to didn’t claim me
if I’m bitter don’t blame me
It’s just my soul responding
You tried to tell me I’m unpatriotic
I deserve an explanation
I can’t help but wonder if you’ve really got it
it’ s just my soul responding, soul responding

this land once belonged to my father and
to his father before him too
let me tell you now
I’m on a reservation living in a state of degradation
what’s a soul supposed to do?
because [line unclear]
it’s just my soul responding
to seeing little hungry children in the land of plenty
just my soul responding
to doing lots of [line unclear]
soul responding soul responding

I was born and raised in the ghetto
on the rundown side of the track
and there are forces who do everything they do
to hold me back because my skin is black
[unclear] oh hell its about time
it’s just my soul responding soul responding
oh to being second class in this land I helped to form
just my soul responding
to too many roaches
and not enough heat to keep my babies warm
in this land I helped to form I’ve got
too many roaches
and not enough heat to keep my babies warm
just my soul responding


Also, I’d like to add this:

Good ol’ WKRP straight up dealing with Vietnam and touching on the very class conscious draft (even if it were a “very special episode”, when’s the last broad comedy you know dealt with these issues?) Nowadays we’d just get Swift Boat Veterans Against Venus Flytrap.

Lie back and think of Texas

I. F. Stone, “A Man the Whole World Has Begun to Distrust”, 7 June 1965

After a year and a half with Lyndon Johnson as President, one thing can be said about him with certainty. It is dangerous to trust anything he says. His favorite stance on the platform is that of a country preacher, brimful of Gospel. Events have shown that beneath his corny brand of idealism is a hard-boiled operator who believes in force. The difference between him and Goldwater is that the latter candidly espoused what the former covertly practices. The Arizonian lost because he was more honest and less clever. But there is a limit to cleverness, and Johnson has about reached the limit.

The good will built up by Kennedy for our country in every section of the world except East Asia has been dissipated by his successor. It is no exaggeration to say that Johnson is today distrusted everywhere: in Latin America, where he has destroyed the hopes aroused by the Alliance for Progress; in Western Europe, where he is regarded as impulsive and high-handed; in India, where he affronted Shastri by canceling his visit rather than risk hearing an Asian dissent on our Vietnamese war; and in Eastern Europe, where the Russians had expected a continuation of the detente begun under Kennedy and the satellites had hoped for a continued thaw in the Cold War as their one sure means of liberation. Rarely has one man blasted so many hopes so quickly.

Continue reading ‘Lie back and think of Texas’

I Like It When The Power

of internet rage is directed at a deserving source. Read here about baseball player Rocco Baldelli taking cheapshots from a Fox Sports columnist for having an undiagnosable disease, and read the Fox Sports columnist getting raked over the coals in his own comments here. What. A. Cobag.