Monthly Archive for April, 2008

Put the £157,000 In the Bank

You don’t necessarily even have to understand the rules of Snooker to kind of appreciate this. Think of it as a 300 game in bowling.

Ronnie Legend gets to pocket 157 extra large for that business. All his perfect score needs to do is hold out as the only one.

Bank it, the man is a star.

What, WHAT??

Continued:

The Crucible, chunderholes, The Crucible.


Bonus Note
: The second guy’s opponent had, in the previous frame, had his own chance, and blew the final black. The Crucible indeed!

End of an Era

Before Saying Yes was even Thinking Maybe.

Before Circle Jerk at the Square Dance was even 1 Degree of Arc of Impure Thought of Hokey Pokey

Before Blue Girl Red State was even Off White Eye Twinkle

Before Oakland Dilettante was even something even more less than even more

Before Befouled was even Besmirched

Before Empire of the Senseless was even A Hovel of the Mildly Perturbed

Before annieangel even met Shoelimpy™

Before Freelance Genius was even a Contract Worker of Average Intelligence

Before doop HQ was even an oop and a Q? (come on)

Before Chrome Beach was even a Foilwad Sandbox

Before Really Small Fish was even Tiny Fry

Before the universe gave birth to the earth in a horrendous, silent and improbable labor. Back in time, where poop shooters were musical, and the Canadian Curling Association was denounced in hilarious and appropriate moderation, where Ketchup chips were dared and dreamed. While antimatter was still selfishly engaging in an unforgivable and obtuse quest to annihilate all matter, there were Three Bulls! and The Republic of Dogs. Even though the former could be described as a delightful and exuberant collection of je ne sais quoi, and the latter encased in a design style that could only be described in polite circles as “Mount Trashmore on a Trashy Triscuit.” Not content to simply exist, these early formed particles of matter set out on a parallel path of constant degradation and ritual denunciation of creamy lovers, overheard buffoons, and various flim-flam artists. They grew up into the greener pastures that you now know. Holiday baking was in fact dared. Controversy during such was courted, and even bed down in ways unseemly to prevailing mores. Blue girl was declared an unlikely winner. All was not right in the universe, yet it strangely was. Times have since changed. We are no longer safely ensconced in our onesy jammies with the sleeper footies. We recognize change, and while it chafes, burns, itches, etc. we are unable to reject it.

It has been requested that Mr. Pinko Q. Punko and possibly but no way proven related Capt. Trolly Q. Pants, Esq. no longer comment at or even about Republic of Dogs. Instead of being anathema to our very souls, we instead sadly recognize that an era has come to a close. No more comments at or about Republic of Dogs. We note for the record and for posterity that battle raps do not fall under the provenance of the current decree and shall proceed accordingly.

May you all eat it in peace.

fish vs shorebird file — part [CLASSIFIED]

We have met the enemy and he is us.
— Pogo

Long, long ago (the past few days), in a galaxy far, far away (fish’s blog):

fish posted a selection from the more worrisome quotes of the Democratic Presidential candidates concerning their respective approaches to national security. AG and BP commented on that post to the effect that making worrisome statements about national security is an apparently unavoidable aspect of campaigning for president in the US.

In reply to these comments, fish made the argument that polling shows Americans are less pro-war than the national security positions of our candidates and Presidents would indicate, writing:

Continue reading ‘fish vs shorebird file — part [CLASSIFIED]’

This Week In Trollypants

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Untapped Swag Market

K is sitting on a golden mine. Can Cafe Press make enough of these?? I await the whirlwind of America’s romance with, and downfall of, this catchphrase.

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Everybody’s Talking

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I am So Tired of Other Bloggers PLAGIARIZING OUR SHTICK

Atrios, WTF????????

HERE’S THE ORIGINAL.

Thanks for appropriating our essence, chundernozzle. You can take that Buck Rogers hair helmet and EAT IT!!!!

Adding: We love this song truly, and do not mock it.

plover adds: The internetzez doesn’t just try to steal our schtick, I think they’re trying to automate it (via):

Narcoleptic Octopus Jihad

Alcoholic Toon Smash

Tom Clancy’s Snowboard in Middle-Earth

Panzer Makeout Punch-Out!!

M.C. Escher’s Submarine Revolution

Paranoid Underwear – The Gathering Storm

I confess

THAT AG AND OKLAHOMELESS ARE PEAS IN A POD. THEY ARE BOTH JEJUNE COMMENT DELETERS!

AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT PORK SPORK AND USE IT ON MY SHORTY SHORTS FOR YOU TO EAT. I GOT MY MOON WALLET AND IT HAS FULL ASS CAPABILITIES.

Cf.

THE HIPPOCRASY IS MOUNDEDINGLY ZIGNORSHARANT

Why is it?

That the wallet industry can send a man to the moon but they can’t make a wallet that can withstand my a$$ sweat for longer than one year?

This Will Not Stand!!

Alert PEPO! People for the Ethical Treatment of Ploverian Offspring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!