Monthly Archive for May, 2008

We deplore

the unfortunately robust demi-assedness of the ombudsmøøse. Our avian colleague has brought our sorry attention to this fact, and we have recommended swift and decisive action against the offending comment code blogger. The fact that the post was number 2020 should not be taken too literally.

Sadly, attempts to credential the ombudspants to the Democratic convention as punishment failed utterly, presumably due to a combination of insufficient patriotism, gratuitous profanity, and overly alarming eyebrows. Also, the blood feud with the CCA may have been a sticking point. That and the insufficient number of honey cruller TimBits we brought to the interview. They really are that good.

Back to the topic at hand: as we have mentioned before, we rejoice at the distinct lack of malaise to be found in posts and comments these days. In fact, recent efforts have garnered 70 comments and counting in a single post, in the space of three days. This level of malarkey is rarely seen outside of header, condiment, and punning contests. None of which, incidentally, have been seen for some time.

We therefore turn to you, the loyal readers, for summer cobagitation suggestions. And also, of course, a fight to the death between the ombudsmoose and a blog mascot of the commenters’ choosing. Weapons to be provided at, or to acquire, lunch. Reenactments, of course, are encouraged.

As usual, we invite readers and bloggers alike to voice their concerns in comments below, or by emailing your Ombirdspersonmoose at the usual address.


Guy A: Dude, you lost a lot of weight.

Guy B: What? No, not really.

A: Yeah, you look like a completely different person. You look like Charles.

B: Charles in Charge?

A: Charles Manson.

If Only Someone Could Pry the Story from Vegas’ Cold Dead Lips

A skeleton in the LGF closet, mayhaps??

Coulpla guesses: kumquat mayonnaise, the backroom at the Frontier, Richard Dawson, poprocks.


What in the WORLD???


I can’t believe we got the redirect. Chazmo does not want the world to know what he was doing inside the TV show Rockford Files in Las Vegas.

THIS JUST IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CNN is reporting something wrong. Thank God. With another post later as an update, that is two free posts today. My problem is being part of the solution because being part of the problem is the solution for not having stuff to post about. Twice. When will I learn that. CNN is wrong. Constantly. Hey, chunderknobs, I get CNN. I don’t need the rerun. Why must you get constantly coblogged?

Calling all ombirdsmëëse

I attempted to post a comment at the blog of the intrepid 3B ombirdsmøøse.

If I look at the post, there do not appear to be any comments — though for all I know, your mileage may vary.

The first comment I submitted from the comment mechanism on the page itself, and it did not appear to work. Later attempts were made from the usual separate Haloscan window. And each time the comment appeared to be accepted (a “Comment successfully posted” message was returned) and showed up along with all previously submitted comments, including the first one. I can view all the comments at this link.

Anyone have a clue what’s going on here?

I Have Found My Line I Cannot Cross

A yummy glob of sausage just rolled off my delightfully cold, never refrigerated pizza from yesterday- onto the lab floor. I realized my personal limitations when I picked it up and threw it out. I’m sorry for those I’ve disappointed and hurt because of this. It may seem like an excuse, but this lab floor. Yuck. Why don’t they provide some sausage netting to prevent this????

Bring To Me


Fill It to the Rim

Let me preface this very interesting story by Rob Walker in the New York Times Magazine “Can a Dead Brand Live Again?” with the fact that I remember the other half of the Brim Coffee ads:

“Only half a cup…”

“It’s Brim, it’s decaffeinated”

“Fill it to the rim”

This will be germane to the articles discussion of manufactured memory and the nature of brand consciousness. What I think I found most interesting was the general mechanism of well known or popular brand extinction- corporate mergers and consolidation. Acquisition of like brands renders well known lines redudant, thus they get shelved. While this is an obvious business decision, it helps explains how brands that either seem successful or incredibly long lived just disappear.

Walker discusses a firm that aims to capitalize on resurrecting brands that linger in our consciousness as essentially pre-marketed items whose memory is widespread but fuzzy enough their branding can be tweaked or the nature and extent of the product can be altered to fit into some new niche.

I don’t harbor nostalgia over many of these products, just a sort of jarring realization (felt way before reading the article) that some of these things just disappeared off the face of the earth like some nefarious force just pulled them off the shelf, simultaneously silencing the marketing voice that had been constantly reminding us of their supposed importance in our purchasing routines. It’s like these products were ripped off our televisions to be executed in some lonely forest.

Of course I obsess about branding because in our youths, companies like Nabisco felt content to market cookie brands that are now over 100 years old year in and year out, while now all cookies must be variants of Oreo or Chips Ahoy, and all crackers Wheat Thin, Triscuit, or Ritz based. Cookie Jesus cries for YOU, Cameo Cremes!


one of the best pictures of our times.

Del Martin & Phyllis Lyon, 2-12-04

Congratulations (again)!

(South Africa, Netherlands, Canada, Spain, Belgium (not found), Norway & Sweden?)

I Was Reading

Modern Ninja Home as I vastly prefer it to its downmarket competitor Ninja Digest. I was reading about items around the house and how they are secretly planted for dastardly, insidious ninja shenanigans. Take the Ped Egg, for example. Why, it’s just a regular ol’ foot file, that lets you grind down your dead, unwanted foot flesh. That’s just what it appears to be, to your limited perception. To a ninja, it is a device that allows them to collect your DNA and hose down various crime scenes with your Watson and Crick sauce, implicating you in their silent and undetectable crimes! Ninjas- WTF?!