Everything is on the table here. I knew it would happen organically due to the exclusive nature of Trader Joes Marcona almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt, but I think we should have a contest. Troll or Concern Troll comments on these classes of generic blog post:
A) This non-uniformly distributed thing/resource is awesome! [Spectrum= private yacht with helicopter sub > iPhone > Chick-Fil-A > Trader Joes Marcona Almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt > Fresh air > Shelter > Loving parents etc.]
B) Criticism of other person/blogger [Spectrum= god, non-existence of god, patriarchy, John Aravosis, Matthew Yglesias, Republic of Dogs, Uncanny Canadian]
C) A joke about something possibly “serious” or even serious.
D) A discussion of ism being relative to one’s point of view.
I thought of this last night, but KWB set the table this morning.
Bonus points for “this is no laughing matter, but” and “Perhaps you are not aware, but”
This does not mean that all such comments are invalid or trolly, I’m just saying do your best to find the concerniest comment you can for any generic situation.
Emuvosis got you down?
Plant his orchids in Trader Joes Marcona Almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt. Julienne for a delightful salad.
Cobloggers refuse to post?
Taunt them with Trader Joes Marcona Almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt.
Blow savings on Trader Joes Marcona Almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt, then sail into bankruptcy on a raft of pure flavor.
Are you and insidious ubervillain troubled by a pesky superspy?
Use Trader Joes Marcona Almonds with Rosemary and Sea Salt to trick suave double-o into a shark filled pool dip. James Bond would have ended with Dr. No My God They’re So Good I’m Going to Jump in This Shark Pool.
Since we are mortified on our death beds that Josh Marshall who appears to have been flying on stale Halloween candy all weekend makes a joke that we may have ourselves contemplated deep in our horrible psychological morass of filed observational humor, in penance we reveal to you the magic recipe to make Brussels sprouts taste good.
Kevin William Baker said some stuff we though hit the spotzoes.
Snag continues to turn the screw on his suburban mystery. (Go back to the beginning if you need to).
Also, I think we need to have a vote whether we should consider having a new header harvesting gambit of the contest variety. A precontest contest. The smartest assest vote wins Yelp! to come live in their home and comment on their goings about.
Is the supply of 3B Headers at its peak? Is it possible that we will run out? Or has the drop in demand allowed supply to relax? Should I post this on Facebook so people would actually read it? Do people have goatees on Facebook? Is it like a parallel universe very similar to our own, but filled with Scrabble instead of Tribbles? I almost have a desire to read Americablog or Ann Althouse or Gregg Easterbrook just to feel the sweet vibrancy of annoyance. Maybe not. Or even a hembarrliousingly fad battle rap. What do you want from me?
I didn’t play a fun joke on the delightful bloggers at the Consumerist to boost our traffic. What would that do, sell ads that we don’t have? Nah. The C’ist has some pretty funny commenters, and some of the trolliest as well on the internets. I thought we’d have some hijinks, etc. after I did a little teasing, and of course some good spider money humor could come of it. The C’s were good enough to present the joke as it was made to their audience, but in doing so broke the link back to our fine site. So after 3700 something hits to a post about The Tragically Hip from when we were 0 years old, not a single new comment at our fine site, nor did anyone actually see a spider in a party hat. Since I feel a little sad about this, I will not put forth any ass for the rest of today.
The insidious Gawker cabal behind the Consumerist has chosen to go another direction. My guess is they’ll go with some shady spider-money laundering drug cartel.
I’m certainly glad we pre-emptively trolled certain members of the Consumerist commentariat, however, this still hurts when Trickster writes:
Some bloggers trying to promote their site using unoriginal spider money jokes.
We love Liam Kinkaid forever and ever and grant honorary 3B status for this:
Best of luck to our beloved Consumerist, may they receive new and benevolent overlords. They are mensches.
Sometimes at night Gregor takes me to listen to the penguins cry. What a bunch of babies! Succulent babies. Mmmmm!
posted for and on behalf of PupH
As you may know, we’ve attempted to buy the Consumerist, as outlined here. We’ve taken on kindly financial backing from fish. Take a look at these financial guns. Below we blog cc you, our readers and supporters.