Monthly Archive for July, 2009

Mystery Art Bage


From our fave.

UC Must Be Denounced

I detected not a single fake faux ironic hipster devil horn or air drum to the entirety of this during our excursion and 3B summit today. He also stated that he’d always hated this song and wished it to be turned immediately, leading to the previously mentioned Night Ranger debacle. Blue Girl probably felt a tremor of infinite sadness.

Remind me to tell you the thing I said that seems extremely horrible no matter how I say it but was actually pretty funny the way it worked out.


After five and a half years as a regular feature on the Web site, Pinko Punko’s Three Bulls column is being axed.

Punko was quietly passing the word today that he was told by Three Bulls that his contract will be terminated in early August.

Three Bulls spokesentity Ombuddha is believed to have confirmed it with an incoherent chant translated by specially-trained bird-watchers that many astrologers claim happens to be this response to a query:

“Editors and our research teams are constantly reviewing our online content to ensure we bring readers the most value when they are on our Web site while balancing the need to make the most of our editors and research teams who constantly review our online content to ensure we bring readers the most value when they are on our web site while balancing the needs expressed in this statement about this statement. Regrettably, this means that sometimes features must be eliminated, and this time it was the blog for which Pinko Punko freelanced, which happens to be this blog” to Three Bulls’s Web site. “And Ombolyglomboly should stop putting words in other ombudscritters’ mouths, including this.”

“I’m terribly disappointed. I was told that it had been determined that my Three Bulls blog wasn’t ‘working’ anymore. But from what I could tell, it was still working very well,” Punko said. “I also thought Three Bulls was a great fit with the Three Bulls brand, and what its readers reasonably expect from Three Bulls online.”

“I think that the future success of our business depends on cob loggers enthusiastically pursuing emus and calling it like plover sees it. That’s what I tried to do every day,” he continued. “I’m not sure at this point what I’m going to do next. I may take Three Bulls elsewhere from Three Bulls, or may try something different that is and is not Three Bulls, to quote Ombuddha, who may or may not have said that.”

Punko bills his often-irreverent online column as a “pug-dog-related occasional nonsenuary from news Web sites, blogs and other sources.” He does not operate as a White House reporter. Rather, he compiles material about the White House and offers his own commentary, often with a liberal bent, and a tendency to call everyone “cobags.”

That slant seemed to attract a large and loyal audience during the Bush administration, but it may have suffered when Barack Obama became president.

An anonymous Editorial Page Editor, whose stable of contributors probably does not include Punko, said late Thursday: “With the end of the Bush administration, interest in his so-called blog also diminished, thank G-d. Also he was a sexist who continuously made snide references to ‘shenanigans,’ was the epitome of patriarchy, and should really have called his so-called blog ‘Three Choads’. And what’s with all the Canadians? Ugh.”

When it began, the column was called “Three Bulls.” But the name was changed to the same name after concerns by some at Three Bulls that readers might believe Punko was insufficiently self-referential.

Punko has been associated with Three Bulls Web site since 1997, but that is probably a lie because blogs were not invented at that point. He held a number of other positions at the web site (that number being zero, but it is a number) before writing his column on contract beginning in early 2004, or some approximation thereof.

Is there a doctor in the house?


Who Gnu?

GFoH has a hair curling iron and a hair straightening iron. I imagine them in mortal combat.

We are concerned. Very. Concerned.

Pinko, we are your friends...we can help.

Pinko, we are your friends...we can help.

So, we are done with the Wiener now?

No need to panic, ZRM

teh wiener of our discontent

Teh Wiener of Our Discontent.

Megor Samsa Update (am I even allowed to do this?????)

The Headlines Just Write Themselves

Actual Content

Don’t get too excited, it is just a link to The Howler where Bob takes Dahlia Lithwick to the woodshed for her simplistic take on Frank Ricci, the Ricci case plaintiff (for the Sotomayor confirmation cognoscenti).

Bob has been very strong on the Sotomayor case.

Complaints, Complaints, Complaints

This particular ombudsparticular has been flooded with complaints about the scarcity of one Pinko Punko, someone known as “UC”, and a rogue bird, to which I respond, am I 3B’s keeper? I think not. I’m here to listen to your complaints and then to tell you, they don’t matter. Suck on that whiners.

It is apparent that a mere spam comment can amuse you for hours on end (thank you zmurringo, and no, I do not need help in unlocking my phone). Why must a bull actually be in house? Are you that insecure? Carry on!

What I do need help with are the endless complaints, the endless whinery, the whimpery of the masses or half-massed. Feel free to chime in any other ombudslackers! Yes, this obmudsperson is complaining. If an ombudsperson complains, does anyone hear it? What is the sound of one ombudsperson complaining? Hmm?

Great, it appears Pinko has donned his chiding pants and now we are all being taken to task.

Fridge Note To Uncanny Canadian Airspace

UC knows that I am off doing various important things. He knows this. Yet he allows the secrecy of these things to be glaringly apparent by doing everything in this world besides posting on 3B. Not even a cute pictures of a puppy or perhaps an odd Japanese plush toy. I am simply infuriated by UC’s complete inability to distract a crowd of easily distractable entities and also in such an Ombuds-target rich environment. Sad. Sickening.


Says mid-90’s video than obliquely angled compositions highlighted by purple sky. Aesthetically terrifying.

Wonderful tune, though. When was the last time anyone went out of their way to dig up a previous album’s ignored track in light of a surprise hit on the new one?

I can’t quite bring this to be song of the day because it is really song of almost 15 years ago, and that seems like the merest blink of an eye. Odd.