Monthly Archive for September, 2009

Clip Art Mysteries

I had to take some mandated workplace training today via the interwebs. It dealt with workplace harassment. Let’s take a look:

1.

D2-06

This was supposed to illustrate age discrimination. I think they mixed it up with a treatise on plastic surgery and porn addiction, alternatively the Ted Haggard look.

2.

D3-03

This was helpful illustrating termination. I think in this example the person was rightfully terminated due to poor job performance. I hope he doesn’t have a conceal and carry, because that would be more than a condiment massacre. Welcome to Big Texas Honey Bun!

3.

D4-01

This panel left me hanging. I sort of wanted her to turn into She Hulk and pull his arms off.

4.

D4-03

This fellow was engaged in sexual harassment because he was dry humping his coworkers terminal. Ironic twist, he got Vista on his dongle.

5.

D4-04

Calling the cops is the apparently the appropriate behavior in response to homeless guys trying out their stand up acts in the workplace.

6.

D6-02

It is not clear to my why Dan Rather is thoughtfully considering workplace hiring and behavioral policies.

Fixing the Internets

Brando hath tasted that which he hath wrought, and it be a bitter pill.

Song of the Month

I posted this earlier at Song of the Day to no notice, save Seitz, so I am upping the just released official vid to song of the month here for 12 persons RSS feeds. If you even think you like, head to You Tube and check out versions from Letterman and Conan (both really good).

Also, we are now ensconced in Big Texas Honey Bun, the Capital of Outer Nowhereville and find life pleasantly tolerable. That said, Ron Paul Book is acting out. More on that later. Back to your regularly scheduled blackout.

Also, I saw this cheapie unironically on a car.

03

They couldn’t spare the dime to upgrade to the devil ears:

02

Or the logoneering of the Ham and Sick.

01

De profundis

Just in case you wanted to know how to argue like the Inquisition, I provide a description of the disputational techniques of Robert Cardinal Bellarmine from the 1606 pamphlet Defense in Favor of the Reply to Eight Propositions Against Which the Most Illustrious and Reverend Lord Cardinal Bellarmine Has Written of Giovanni Marsilio (quoted in Ingrid Rowland, Giordano Bruno: Philosopher/Heretic, 2008, pp 256-7, the translation appears to be Rowland’s).

Cardinal Bellarmine was on the panel of the Roman Inquisition that condemned Giordano Bruno. Though the document proclaiming Bruno a heretic and passing his case to the civil authorities for punishment exhorts that he not be executed (apparently a common practice in Inquisition judgments of the time), the secular authorities, obviously, ignored this (another common practice), as Bruno was burned at the stake.

The first technique is that, no sooner had said treatise appeared in print, than it was banned by the congregation appointed to such business in Rome, among whose number the Lord Cardinal appears, without identifying the reason for said prohibition, but only certain general headings and concerns…

The second is that for an author’s words he fabricates an interpretation contrary to [the author’s] meaning and intention, in order to extract conclusions to reprove them now as heretical, now as schimastic, now as erroneous, now as impudent, now as scandalous, now as harmful, with this formula: “If the author means this,” he says (but the author means it otherwise), “then the proposition is heretical, wrong, etc.” …

The third is that he mixes up his material so that from that chaos of confusion he can draw similar conclusions…

The fourth is to say: The author doesn’t know logic…

The fifth is to ascribe common printer’s errors not to the printer but to the author, and to make digressions over these, truly unworthy of the doctrine and authority of this Lord…

The sixth is to take the road of supposition, as, for example, he supposes that the pope has supreme authority over Christians in temporal matters, and that temporal power is subordinate to spiritual power, and other matters of this sort, which he not only assumes as certain, and does not prove them, but also asserts that to deny them is heresy, without citing any text, Scripture, or definition of the Church.

It is my unfounded speculation that the title of Marsilio’s pamphlet was the result of the confluence of several casks of wine and the prestige of the award for “Most Convoluted Title” among early seventeenth century Roman printers.

According to Wikipedia, Bellarmine was also known for making fun of King James I of England’s Latin.

Note that Bellarmine was part of the Roman Inquisition — the Spanish Inquisition being, presumably, much more unpredictable. Or maybe that’s just what they want me to think. I am currently leaning on a soft pillow. Draw your own conclusions.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate

Due to a stunning lack of complaints, I must resort to open mockery instead. You leave me with no choice.

We’re On Time Late To This Party

But, I’ve only just seen this in person myself, so any volunteers for Delicious or Disgusting?

I have another item on deck.

Up is Down

Only fish could predict branding so cynical. Top this in comments.

oldyellerdogfood

Under the Government Jackheel

Mandatory seat belt laws coupled with Ron Paul Book’s lack of, I was going to say spine, but that would be wrong, lack of impetus shall we say reveal a sadly curtailed freedom and a lack of hurtling through windshields as the Big Texas Cinnamon Bun in the sky intended. The tyrannical death tax and Government regulation, both in helmet laws and in the illegality of organ sales, are the only things preventing Ron Paul Book from doing circus tricks on a motorbike, for wealth creation and retention within the Paul family. Also lack of hands, organs, heirs. The market weeps.

100_1751

Second Floor Snack Machine

In a bout of extreme appropriateness (construe what you will), I discovered that the second floor snack machine has these. Thank Cookie J. I don’t live in a town called Pretzel Fillers.

Also, this guy is gunning for UC.

This explains a lot

Think about it….. the constant Edgar Winter references, the red track suit proclivities, desire for a gun (“derringer”) cake…. I claim love child or the very least conceived at!!!!

Video stole from the fine folks at BEFOULED.