Monthly Archive for December, 2010

May Your Enemies Receive a Chewy Chocolate Assortment Heavy on the Nutpunch Clusters

For the rest of us, every one:

Secular Jesus Kung-fu on your tree-people shenanigans, and easy on the egg nog, saucies.

Love from our family to yours.

Enrique Throws a Curve

First of all, Enrique Iglesias is nothing if not ultra-polite. Two hit songs in one year both use the phrase “please excuse me” (if I come on too strong/I don’t mean to be rude) BUT in the current one, you might be singing along thinking of something that you want to be loving tonight, such as a super pretzel or korean BBQ or perhaps Adventure Time with Jake and Finn, or having a good time with friendsies, but what if someone exchanged your clean radio version with:


State Secrets

We apologize for any confusion created by the following statement:

Citrus Lover must be from BC, probably the only place in Canada balmy enough to be comfortable to a Grapefruit Chupacabra. Never been there myself.

Naturally, we must address this in an objective manner as befits our humble position as part of the Ombuds Collective and Moose Curling League. To wit: we shall change the subject completely.

Item the first: We are sorely disappointed to learn that Støørn remains unconstructed. When will this plague of anti-ungulate bias be stopped?

Item the second: The Goobie Thread, which hardly requires linking, approaches 1900 comments. But will it make it to 2000 by the end of the year? Or, dare I say it, 2011?

Item the third: ZRM, in said thread, back in the yesteryears of February:

Mandos has a point. Is it possible to Zardoz a post that is analyzing Zardoz?

I think not.

I think SO, my shambling friend! The thread has been Goobied.

Any other business?

Get On the Sanders’ Train


I’ve been listening on and off for about an hour and a half. I find it stirring. I look forward to claims of Quixoticism and grandstanding from the lowest of the low.

UPDATE- the sound of internet crickets always prevails while the schoolkids decided which way they think the event played. First, fish needs to sit down. Second:

12.10.10 — 10:57PM // RECOMMEND RECOMMEND (8)
Through a Filibuster Darkly

Our Brian Beutler explains why those fake non-talking filibusters we’ve seen for two years are the real thing and the genuine article Bernie Sanders filibuster today wasn’t the genuine article.

–Josh Marshall

And of course what does Brian Beutler say:

They could read from the phone book, or from the bible, or rant in paranoid fashion about how some day there would be a black president, and he would try to raise taxes on rich people. Whatever.

It looked a lot like what Bernie Sanders is doing today.

Certainly he doesn’t mean that an inspired oration laying out what progressive principles are and what true patriotism means in the face of mindless greed and blind self-interest is the same as those other things he’s claiming Sanders looked like. I think if you asked Brian he might even suggest it was noble theater. What he wouldn’t admit is that the soon to be predictable stream of tsk tsk get realing we’re about to hear emanating from his increasingly oily boss calls for NUTPUNCH. The only hope there could be is Jon Stewart getting behind this, because J. Marshall and D. Kurtz at least take him seriously.

Don’t try me, boys.


Seitz has informative musical considerations. I would love to live the Seitz life for a few weeks, but worry about my eardrums and sadly I know my flat feet would be hurting. Therefore I would like to live the Seitz life while being wheeled around in a Barcalounger.

Also, Song of the Day, courtesy of the main man above.

This Ripfork dude is a nutpuncher, though I notice we break all the rules trying to shoehorn P-fork year end trash into predictably obscene categories. We have me the enemy and he is PP and UC.

Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch Approachening

Odds and sods on slings and arrows slung and arrowed during the holiday snausage making:

The Geenie Cola, applied today by Geenie Cola, RE: “I Am the Walrus”-

“This is their worst period. They were all “I’m cool, it’s cool, we’re cool so we can do whatever crap and people will still think it’s cool”

1:1 for UC using it regarding some squeezed out prose-loaf of the Fork staff.

10:1 for inevitable Pitchfork backlash of previously loved band

The Topical:

“Just as the flow of secret documents emanates over the internet-aether from the increasingly arrogant and misunderstood Wikileak’s Julian Assange…”

Incalculable (certain) for Philip Sherburne (of whom we are now fond even though we do not favor infinitely icy minimalist housescapes)

The Meh:

“Remember that time when Papa Smurf was into the blow and Brainy Smurf was……[five paragraphs later]….this track is like Garga-meh-l”

The longer it is the better the odds are for Pinko Punko, the more deliciously skewery, UC

The Stereogum Commenter Generically Ironic:

“I both agree/disagree with this [no specific signifier] list and would like to imply any effort or attention to thinking or discussing this topic is to be mocked. Effort and attention to register for Stereogum and type this comment obviously not included.”

Odds equal to the rising and setting of the sun, and the internet existing.

Also consider:

The Defensive:

“Why do those *ssholes say I do/say stuff that I didn’t do/say? Their terrible writing about our bad writing is so sarcasm tag ironic close sarcasm tag yeah I get it, I’ve been crafting a cutting tweet all year with which to acknowledge that what they say/do is predictable though I admit 2006 was funny in an already played out way, also this iPhone Thai food app is awesome.”

Pinko Punko:

“I would kill for your Thai food app.”

The Goob:

“She bounced her knees. I guess that’s another “like.” Wait, see if she’ll do it when you bang on a pot with a wooden spoon. Yeah, she did.”

The ZRM:

I’ll only listen to/read this if there is the possiblity of Mekons or Pepsi Smash and rum, preferably both.


It’s kind of a haze on whose plan it was to do a different drink per entry. I shall blame C. Next year I will read one novel for each song, and have them read and reviewed before UC gets to #77.

Nate Patrin:

Those guys are DICKS.