Sorry, Guys

I took a nap one day and I woke up and I got worried that somebody was maybe trying to have a “who can go the longest without posting” and then I didn’t want to lose just in case this was a game that was being played. Just in case.

Also this thing is like a gym membership, I pay for it but it doesn’t get used.

I think this is a better excuse than some people “OH I HAD 1 MILLION BABIES!!!!!!” or “I DELETED MY WEB LOG AGAIN WHOOOOOOOOPS” or “wev life wev”. What sort of nonsense is continuing to prevent us from communicating as jovial band of friendsies? I hope, fear and yet still imagine that plover is connected in an internecine web of mistaken identities and possibly stuffed in Edward Snowden’s duffel bag.


Seitz is revving up Song of the Day to enrich our lives with musical content. I encourage people to check it out. Hope to have more from our side as well. Minimally would be nice to give thumbs up or thumbs down on the various selections presented.

I don’t know how much value Matt Yglesias bashing will have to the proceedings, but I would do it for zero clicks, so my aims are pure.


Why do technocratic contrarian life trolls live under bridges?

Answer: They don’t, suckers. Enjoy the aggregate slight increase in probability you won’t be ground into horse meat replacement due to the floating of a hypothetical boat- I just thought about this for one second- luckily I don’t get paid by the second, but maybe I should? MONEYBOX OUT, ZITCHES

For your musical displeasure:

Repost of our previous. (Lyrics at the link-o)

Matthew Yglesias Battle Rap Demo

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Matthew Yglesias Battle Rap Single Remix (courtesy of Mendacious D, original post here)

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The only think we fear now that the internet is disgusted with Our Matt is a backlash backlash. More mascara for the original lashes, here’s hoping they go for miles.

Why do we saw the same old with regard to Our Matt? Why do repeat ourselves?

I can’t get into the greatest nutpunches the world has received from this marginally successful yet hugely unlikeable pratfall on actual ideas and discourse. But Mattsplaining is STAGMC. Behold this recent and glistening work product. It doesn’t even make sense.

Charles and David Koch are reporting considering buying the Tribune Company (owners of the L.A. Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Baltimore Sun, and others) prompting a great Garance Franke-Ruta piece on why big city newspapers’ editorial staffs invariably lean left.

That said, I don’t see this as reason for skepticism about the merits of the Koch venture. It’s actually why it makes sense. The “liberal media” is, as Franke-Ruta argues, largely a product of the free market. Certain niches—talk radio and cable television—are very friendly to a conservative editorial product but others are not. Which is exactly why what conservative media needs is a couple of extremely rich people to buy a newspaper company and lose a ton of money building a great conservative media product.

After all, the big problem with right-leaning media in America isn’t that it doesn’t exist. It’s that it’s terrible. There is a large audience out there that’s so frustrated with the vile MSM that it’s happy to lap up cheaply produced content from Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, and you can make lots of money serving that kind of thing up. By contrast, to build a great media company that’s top-to-bottom staffed with conservatives is going to be very expensive. The possible talent pool of great reporters is tilted toward liberals. The talent pool of great photographers and graphic designers is probably even more tilted toward liberals. Finding the great conservatives out there and hiring them is going to be relatively costly, and there’s no real economic point to doing so. Is your much worse cost structure going to get you a larger audience than Rush? No, it won’t. It’s a bad bet.
But the Kochs have plenty of money. If they want to see it happen, they can make it happen. And America would be better off for it.

Everyone All Around

What will it take to spruce up this place? 2000 Word CHEEP articles? Discussions about current events? Punning? A party thread? Planning a mission to rescue Yosef from In N’ Outer Mongolia (that would be an amazing place)? The creeping malaise of being bored with the internet must be stopped. Jexter has arisen from under the stone, Popren has arisen from his long slumber, the beast from the depths of despair is nowhere to be seen, citrus fashion will become popular again, the rolo gun is locked and loaded.



Update: when did we get a polaroid thing on our picture things? Where am I?

Second Update:

When we rescue Yosef, we take this:




I saw some computer or internet thing called a “Plover” and I had to laugh. I know this is an inside-out joke in our empty spaces here as the tumbleweeds blow through, though.

Unrelated, I just got an email that reminded me of our delightful heyday. VERY funny. I miss everyone and hope all is well in our world, though I remain more than perturbed at the possibility of Mad Max franchising locally if not nationally or internationally. I also don’t want to rely on the fact that I might not taste good to ward off zombies. I can’t quite see how taste-aversion would protect me once my brain were sampled in even the tiniest of portions.

Interesting notes: an out and about young person was filled with the Spirit and was moved to say something nice, but slightly hilarious about myself and The Goob. We were nicely walking in Nature and she stopped and said we reminded her of thinking about The Father ministering to His Son or something else culturally capitalized. It was meant as a nice sentiment, and I expressed this to her for her kind words (in her way), but I could only think abouttelling you yahoos about it, and the chorus of inevitable Trollypantses saying “Christ, What an Asshole”

Just Read It

The Howler on Rosa Parks as exemplar for where we are and how we are broken.

Superb Owl!

This thing is like a tax on my time. I will not even remember the teams in this thing next year.

And I made some Korean BBQ and found out that the backup Ssamjang had changed colors and was actually two years expired.

CONSTANT DEGRADATION, and probably oxidation.

I double dog dare K. to order a Bud Black Crown some time at the local. Then she can hand the barkeep a marker to write on her shirt “yes” to its trendy, “ironic” “DO I LOOK LIKE A COBAG?” FRANKIE SAY RELAX QUESTION


P-fork was right for once.

Bun B is an H-town legend. Just kills it. Love that flow.


Reasonable non-sucky sign of the evening to come.

Spill the Wine was on the radio.

Any other requests for the evening, either song or cocktail?

Stay safe, peoples.


New York Ad Agency Internal Memo

RE: Bushmaster account

Looking for pull quotes for the new .223/AR-15 ad-

Reached out the John “DC Sniper” Muhammad’s people- they say he’s unavailable? Anyone have a cell number? Maybe we can cross market with Chevy on tricked out Caprices. What is Malvo doing?

Trying to track down Lanza- looks like he’s a no go either.

Can we get this NY guy? He’s a pretty hot commodity right now.

Just so much to work with on this account- just no idea which way to go.


Dr. Pepper 10 style ironic- “Bushmaster- it’s just for hunting”- could get laughs.

Possible musical angles: Bodycount? “Cop killer”? (can we change this to “kid” or “fireman” for niche marketing???)

What about St. Peter/Pearly gates thing- can we have him complaining about being so busy “like “goldarn Bushmaster!!”- any issues with church groups? Could be a humorous take. Maybe get Wilford Brimley? Is he still working?